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Joke: Pickup Lines

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TURBOTWIN2

ASE CMAT L1
Joined
Jun 17, 2005
Messages
1,997
How to get a woman in Central Texas.


1) Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

2) Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

3) My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

6) If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

7) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a
light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went
into this cheap motel room.

11) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until
the afternoon.

and.... the best for last!

13) Your face reminds me of a wrench,
every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.
 
Here is something to add to your post, kinda goes with eachother. I can delete it if you want, its not ment to highjack your thread.

Female Comebacks!

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
 
I'll have to see if I have anymore, I'm sure I do somewhere. I do have a good one for the guys but its not really appropriate for the board. I can send it to you if you want to shoot me your email. I'll take a look and see what I have thats safe to post. Glad you like the other one.
 
Here is another one for you. I have some more I'll try to post latter.


The Top Ten Things Men Know "FOR SURE" About Women

1.


2.



3.


4.



5.


6.


7.


8.


9.


10. They have boobs.
 
I'll have to see if I have anymore, I'm sure I do somewhere. I do have a good one for the guys but its not really appropriate for the board. I can send it to you if you want to shoot me your email. I'll take a look and see what I have thats safe to post. Glad you like the other one.


Just click on my username and hit send e-mail. I always need a good laugh after reading JSA's stuff.
 
Heres another for you:

How to treat a Woman:

Wine her.
Dine her.
Call her.
Hold her.
Surprise her.
Compliment her.
Smile at her.
Listen to her.
Laugh with her.
Cry with her.
Romance her.
Encourage her.
Believe in her.
Pray with her.
Pray for her.
Cuddle with her.
Shop with her.
Give her jewelry.
Buy her flowers.
Hold her hand.
Write love letters to her.
Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.

How To Treat a Man:

Show up naked.
Bring chicken wings.
Don't block the TV.

Sad! Very, very sad....................
 
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