Tiger Woods Jokes

[JOHNDEEREGN]

:biggrin::biggrin:



Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

This one is my favorite,

Apparently the only person that can beat Tiger with a golf club is his wife.

 

[Fachie Motion]

The cops get sent to Tiger's house. The first cop gets there and sees that there is an SUV into a tree , Tiger is laying on the ground with his wife standing over him , and there is a golf club on the ground. The cop takes out his note book and asks Tiger's wife what happened. She says " we had a fight". So the cop writes a little in his note book and asks what happened next. Tiger's wife says " he hit a tree with his SUV. The cop writes a little more and says then what happened. Tiger's wife says "then I hit his truck with the golf club. The cop asks how many times and Tiger's wife says " I don't know 4 , 5 , maybe 6 times and the cop says ....


OK I'll just put you down for a 4. :biggrin:

 

[charlief1]

LOL You guys are bad.

 

[datant69]

funny

nothing wrong with poking tiger, hell i'm sure he's got more stuff that we don't know about, so regardless it all comes down to money can get you out of any minor situation such as this one. my only question is, if he was screwing around on his wife then did they have a prenup and if not then imagine the amount of money she's entitled to.

 

[DJ Red Barron]

Taken from another board I am on...





What do Tiger Woods and Baby Harp Seals have in common?
They both get clubbed by Norwegians.

What do OJ Simpson and Tiger Woods have in common?
Nothing, OJ killed his gold digging blonde, Tiger got his ass kicked by his.

 

[TexasT]

I guess since he doesn't drive a Buick any longer he will try to blame this incident on his Caddie.

 

[alwayscode390]

Funny stuff ---

 

[TexasT]

I wonder if during the 'round' he was able to improve his lie?

 

[rmar]

I heard he was writing a new book about his infidelity call "My shortest drive ever."

 

[Rubicon 327]

She knows how to get it done alright......even holdin the evidence!:biggrin:

 

[JOHNDEEREGN]

FUNNY PIC!

Read the article, she is gonna get PAID! LOL

Woods, wife in intense marriage counseling :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Bill Zwecker

 

[86george]

Tiger was thinking with his dipstick,Jimmie.

 

[Rubicon 327]

Tiger was thinking with his dipstick,Jimmie.

That's Funny!

 

[S2V6RACER]

FUNNY PIC!

Read the article, she is gonna get PAID! LOL

Woods, wife in intense marriage counseling :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Bill Zwecker

The bitch needs to get locked of for domestic violence and attempted murder. You can't go around beating people in the head with golf clubs. Also, who says the bitch even puts out to her husband? I'll bet she doesn't and he found it somewhere else. Come on if she was so great why go elsewhere??? Only Tiger knows...

 

[datant69]

tiger and his chick

in my opinion if your man makes that kind of money then she needs to do anything to make sure he's a happy man. hell 110 million last yr would make sure his toes curl EVER TIME.

 

[Little6pack]

TIGER is OFFICALLY CHANGING HIS NAME TO CHEETAH WOODS

 

[just plain john]

If I had that much money, I wouldn't have a wife. I'd just lease one then trade her in on next years model. It's ridiculous that any divorced spouse should get half or more of whatever he makes, just because of a ring placed on her finger.

 

[datant69]

true but i'm sure he got something out of it

If I had that much money, I wouldn't have a wife. I'd just lease one then trade her in on next years model. It's ridiculous that any divorced spouse should get half or more of whatever he makes, just because of a ring placed on her finger.

have you seen his wife? she's smokin hot, when they got married i got an email showing several pics of her nude. guess she was a nude model where ever she's from. regardless sure 110 mil is alot of money and that's just what he made last year but heck i'm sure what ever he drops on a divorce won't matter because he'll still win tournaments and have some endorsements after all is said and done. he didn't get 2 kids outta her playing golf with her. But if he was screwing around the least he could have done was went out of town and done it. then again it's not like he won't be noticed by EVERYONE.

 

[JOHNDEEREGN]

have you seen his wife? she's smokin hot, when they got married i got an email showing several pics of her nude. guess she was a nude model where ever she's from. regardless sure 110 mil is alot of money and that's just what he made last year but heck i'm sure what ever he drops on a divorce won't matter because he'll still win tournaments and have some endorsements after all is said and done. he didn't get 2 kids outta her playing golf with her. But if he was screwing around the least he could have done was went out of town and done it. then again it's not like he won't be noticed by EVERYONE.

JMO I think it is a "control" thing with Tiger, he must have such an ego being that successful that he feels he can do any damn thing he wants. Also they said today his 2 best friends are Barkley and Jordan. Off the court not 2 of the better citizens in society when it comes to gambling and tapping every a** they can get.

 

[datant69]

well then

that will be the most expensive piece of a55 he's ever going to have then, kinda like juanita jordan. she must have had some fire between her legs and i don't know much about barkley's old lady, or X but if he was hanging with them then sounds like he put his johnson in his bank account if you get my drift.