'04 Democratic National Convention Schedule

S

S10xGN

RETIRED!
Joined
May 26, 2001
OFFICIAL 2004 DNC CONVENTION PROGRAM

6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony.
6:30pm - Anti-war rally no. 1.
6:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00pm - Tribute theme to France.
7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
7:20pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25pm - Tribute theme to Spain.
7:45pm - Anti-war rally no. 2. (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:00pm - John Kerry presents one side of the issues
8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00pm - Gay marriage ceremony.

9:30pm - * Intermission *

10:00pm - Flag burning ceremony no. 2.
10:15pm - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
10:30pm - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
10:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
11:00pm - Double gay marriage ceremony.
11:15pm - Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:20pm - John Kerry presents the other side of the issues
11:30pm - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.
11:59pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00am - Nomination of Democrat candidate.

As seen here. :rolleyes:
 
Purdy funy fur a texun,

Not sayn yur full of it but,


A Texan will tell you that he has the biggest and best of anything. If not the biggest, then the most expensive. An Italian loves his good food, a Frenchman enjoys his good wine and a Texan just loves to brag.

Texas has always been known as the land of lots of open spaces. There is a good reason for that. The cowboys riding their horses every day herding cattle, checking fences and whatever, collect some of the aroma from their horses and have you ever smelled a hot sweaty horse? Considering that they only get a bath once a week, and during droughts maybe once a month, they need plenty of room.

An Englishman had visited Texas and was telling his friends about
his trip. One fellow asked, "What most impressed you about Texans".
He replied, "Their confidence. A Texan took me duck hunting and we sat in a blind all day and never saw a thing. Then about sundown a lone duck flew overhead, so high you could hardly see it. When it was directly overhead the Texan raised his shotgun and fired. The duck kept right on flying".
Then the Texan turned to me in amazement and said, "Son, yore
witnessing a miracle. Thar flies a dead duck".

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
 
Cunciderun this post waz started by texuns,
Yesssssssssssssssssssss sir!

jist funnin y'all
 
Addn a littl suthern hewmer,

We Southerners have always known that we were much smarter than those folks on the other side of the Mason-Dixon line, so to prove it we hereby challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam administered by the Georgia Southern University School of Higher Mathematics, Engineering and Rural Studies:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?

[A] a '65 Ford Fairlane; a '69 a Chevrolet Chevelle; [C] a '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw that operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates an NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?
 
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