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Got pulled over again---Payback

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AsphaltAnihil8r

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While I was driving down the road the other day
(going a little faster than I should have been) I passed
over a bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a
radar gun laying in wait.

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and
with that classic patronizing smirk we all know about,
asked "what's your hurry?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

To which he asked, "What do you do?"

"I'm a Rectum Stretcher," I responded.

The cop was surprised and confused. "A what? A
rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger,
then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with
my
whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and
then I
slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."

Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously,
"And just what do you do with a six-foot a$$hole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar
gun and park him behind a bridge ."

Traffic ticket: $95.00
Court costs: $45.00
Look on cop's face . Priceless

This is just a funny Joke I came across,,did not happen
;) ;) ;)
 
Anyone have a cookie for gn85?? All I have at my house are the Golden Uh-Oh Oreos.;)
 
Originally posted by Bens87tr
Anyone have a cookie for gn85?? All I have at my house are the Golden Uh-Oh Oreos.;)

I like cookies. As long as their not old and stale. :)
 
Realisticly, the only thing that could happen with the story above, or something similar, would be your a$$ in jail. Cops don't have much of a sense of humor.
 
I love that joke.

I was actually in a situation to use it once. I was driving a rental car, and got pulled over for speending. I gave him all the paperwork, and I'm sitting there, when he comes back over to the car. I expect him to stop and talk to me, but he starts checking the VIN... :confused:

Long story short, the rental agency swapped the tags by accident, and they had to run the VIN to see if it was stolen. So we are sitting on the side of the road, and he is making small talk with me, as cops usually do to see if someone gets nervous for no reason (a la drug smuggler). So after a bit of B.S., he asks me what I do. I actually began to respond, "I'm a rect..." and stopped. He was like "what?", and I responded, "I do tech support". ;)
 
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