Grand National owner with a non-Grand National question

[Bruce Urie]

Hi fellas. Remember me? The guy that breaks things? Yep, Brucie boy here.

Well, I sure would like some opinions here on an upcoming operation I'm having this coming Tuesday...which also means, (reluctantly) I'm getting fricking OLD! (did I really say that?)

Seems on my last eyeball appointment, my eyeballotologist told me I have cataracts! (I told her I drove a "Rincoln.") Anyway, she referred me to her eyeball slicer down the road....this doctor told me I also have astigmatism and also very ugly...... so he's going to start with my left eyeball this Tuesday, use a laser to cure the astigmatism, actually cut my eyeball to relieve pressure and hide his stash in maybe, plus insert a new lens in my eye so I'll be able to have perfect mid and far away vision......
Two weeks later I then get the right eyeball taken out, sliced open, put back in whatever. Man, this is sounding like a Steven King novel!

I'm somewhat nervous about this but will get it done anyway as things I see are quite fuzzy, and have been for quite some time....As I've telling my wife to please shave her face, her facial hair is longer than my beard....it turned out that my vision was blurry, she didn't have a beard at all!!......but the knot on the side of my head, well, one can say the wrong thing now and then....sorry, dear..........I might lose my close-up vision and will have to use coke bottle lenses or something like store bought magnifying glasses.....I'm not worried too much about this, as I'm dorky looking enough, already won over my wonderful wife and not ever have to worry about dating gorgeous girls anymore, so I don't care how I look concerning reading glasses. (Jeez! That IS getting old, cripes!!!) Besides, I talk funny, too.

Of course, Medicare will only pay for the lenses, the laser comes out of MY POCKET. Thank God I've got some cash saved up....(by NOT breaking things)......Medicare WILL NOT PAY for anything that will drastically IMPROVE ones vision using advanced lenses, so that's out. Nice, thank you Medicare, come back again.

Any of you older fellas ever have this done? Could you chime in if you have? Maybe sooth my worries a little? Like did you have your eyeballs put in reverse and now you can view your brain as you try to make sense of "why in hell did I ever do this?" Will I have to get a white cane? Can I feel my way down the highway in my Grand National if I'm completely blind? Is that legal? Will I have to park in handicapped spaces? Can I still go to the shooting range, or will I have to get a permit for concealed sunglasses?

Everyone around here, all my friends, etc. tell me I'll be fine, I'll love it, burn all reading materials, etc. Sure, it's easy for them to say, most of my buddies here are much younger than I....including girls, but they don't come within 10 feet of me since I look so dorky....with coke bottle glasses they'll stay even farther away, but at least I can burn ants with the glasses! Remember how fun we thought that was? Now PETA will castrate me for doing that!

Any opinions here on this subject would sure calm down my nerves.....I'm getting to old to get old, so I need some sound advice. And please, don't refer me to Stevie Wonder!

Anyway, hope to hear from anyone on this.....my anxiety level is slowly creeping up like an unexperienced newlywed. I'm getting scared to death, to put it frankly. There, I finally admitted this through all this double talk.

All opinions will be kept un-confidential, so don't worry.

Bruce '87 Grand National

 

[Bad Boyz]

Even though I don't have a Buick anymore.its the funny stuff guys like you post that make my day.Thats why Im sticking around.You"ll come out fine.If you made it to being old and your still alive,I wouldn't worry about it.You can always get a seeing eye dog.

 

[Pronto]

My Mom had Cat surgery over 15 years ago and it went super easy. I'm sure today's techniques are even better. A day or two and she was seeing fine. As far as reading glasses go I've had to use them since I was 50 and probably 90% of us have to use them so that's no issue. Got a set for work that are prescription made, one eye needs more magnification than the other. For home I'v got cheap dollar store pairs through out the house. I've got a set of magnifying safety glasses for the garage. Need them to read the sizes on sockets, lol.

 

[1952ray]

Bruce,you are dealing with the OMG factor, now I have not had my eyes cut on,however I have diabetes so my dick stop working. Wasn't to happy about that,so I had my dick cut open ( think a hot dog slice longways down each side offset from the middle,in my case 3 1/2 inches too stuff in two shafts). I had the OMG factor big time. The little pump in the lower gut was no biggie. But I got thru it. Now I'm not 16 years old again,but close. Would I do it again,I think so. Good luck.

 

[derick's gn]

Bruce

good luck with your eye surgery.
please take some consul in that i have made the little knife for a medical customer that cuts your lens out.

that always gave me goosebumps when i thought of what it was used for.

good luck as you know everyone here is saying a prayer for a great outcome.

Tom

 

[626gn]

Bruce,you are dealing with the OMG factor, now I have not had my eyes cut on,however I have diabetes so my dick stop working. Wasn't to happy about that,so I had my dick cut open ( think a hot dog slice longways down each side offset from the middle,in my case 3 1/2 inches too stuff in two shafts). I had the OMG factor big time. The little pump in the lower gut was no biggie. But I got thru it. Now I'm not 16 years old again,but close. Would I do it again,I think so. Good luck.

My dick hurt just reading your damn post

 

[1952ray]

My dick hurt just reading your damn post

Lol, well what is one to do, having a young wife. However it has worked out pretty well, more then one time dreaming I'm having a sex dream to wake up to the real thing. She pushes to button and goes to town

 

[Bad Boyz]

We went from 2 eyes to a 1 eye subject.I"ll pray for Bruce.52 Ray ur all set I see.Hope the pump holds up.

 

[1952ray]

We went from 2 eyes to a 1 eye subject.I"ll pray for Bruce.52 Ray ur all set I see.Hope the pump holds up.

If the pump doesn't hold up,I'll get me a double pumper. Like my GN

 

[Bruce Urie]

Bruce,you are dealing with the OMG factor, now I have not had my eyes cut on,however I have diabetes so my dick stop working. Wasn't to happy about that,so I had my dick cut open ( think a hot dog slice longways down each side offset from the middle,in my case 3 1/2 inches too stuff in two shafts). I had the OMG factor big time. The little pump in the lower gut was no biggie. But I got thru it. Now I'm not 16 years old again,but close. Would I do it again,I think so. Good luck.

GEEZE!!! After reading what you told me, my penis, yes, my actual penis tried to detach itself from me and run to the other side of the room to hide under an old jockstrap!

Bruce '87 Grand National

 

[Bruce Urie]

Lol, well what is one to do, having a young wife. However it has worked out pretty well, more then one time dreaming I'm having a sex dream to wake up to the real thing. She pushes to button and goes to town

On your first post, I did everything to keep from snickering, as you were divulging serious personal information, to which I greatly respected you for.......but...........then I read this......now I must have additional surgery on Tuesday not only on my eyeball, but also to sew up a busted gut! A sudden burst of explosive laughter....."she pushes a button and goes to town." Now how can anyone on earth top that? I was still losing control even a few days after this post.......now you've imprinted something on my brain that I'll always remember. I had to share that with a few buddies of mine (no name mentioned) and they are still rolling on the floor.

So much for my nervousness on Tuesday. I think you've solved that for me.....to which I thank you very much.

Bruce '87 Grand National

 

[Bruce Urie]

Bruce

good luck with your eye surgery.
please take some consul in that i have made the little knife for a medical customer that cuts your lens out.

that always gave me goosebumps when i thought of what it was used for.

good luck as you know everyone here is saying a prayer for a great outcome.

Tom

Ok, I will remember that. I will mention that to the doctor. Are you sure you sharpened it enough or will I have to bring my K-Bar knife from Vietnam? Anyway, pretty interesting fact you revealed....I think that's pretty cool.

I sure thank everyone for the prayers.....sure hope they work....I've lost both ears to measles at age 7, and now have to wear 2 hearing aids (ran out of ears). Though I still play guitar all of the time, can still hear them, I never wish to loose the ability to admire them so much, nor not to be able to see my lovely wife again.

Just, never had my eyes touched ever......and what if the doctor had a bad weekend, you know, blew his fingers off with an M-80 or his wife shacked up with Bill Clinton? Humans make mistake....I know Hillary did.

Last time I checked, no eyeballs available at Home Depot.

Thanks for the prayers, very much.

Bruce '87 Grand National

 

[Bruce Urie]

My Mom had Cat surgery over 15 years ago and it went super easy. I'm sure today's techniques are even better. A day or two and she was seeing fine. As far as reading glasses go I've had to use them since I was 50 and probably 90% of us have to use them so that's no issue. Got a set for work that are prescription made, one eye needs more magnification than the other. For home I'v got cheap dollar store pairs through out the house. I've got a set of magnifying safety glasses for the garage. Need them to read the sizes on sockets, lol.

I appreciate hearing this....it's what I needed to hear. And you mean I might need glasses to read sockets? Oh, boy.....so far, I've never needed reading glasses....can see close-up great....but getting a little blurred. I can see like a cat at night for some reason.....my wife is always amazed that I can walk around in the dark anywhere and not bump into anything.....night time to me is not really dark......but, wonder if this will change everything.

So you're telling me, I'll have to hold a magnifying glass, socket set, ratchet wrench all at once when I get under the car? I only have two hands. Oh, that's right, I could hold the glass in with my teeth. Only way.

Thanks for your insight, interesting.

Bruce '87 Grand National

 

[Bruce Urie]

Even though I don't have a Buick anymore.its the funny stuff guys like you post that make my day.Thats why Im sticking around.You"ll come out fine.If you made it to being old and your still alive,I wouldn't worry about it.You can always get a seeing eye dog.

Yes, stick around.....we are a very strange group......literally. Hmm.......guess that's how people see me now.....old and alive.....what can I say?

Seeing eye dog? Good idea. I dated one a long time ago........don't ask.

Bruce '87 Grand National

 

[Pronto]

I don't use a magnifying glass, I use safety glasses that are magnifying. I've got several pairs for the garage. One is smaller and like reading glasses but the frame is flexible. Another pair are safety style with wrap around sides and wider protection. Those are excellent protection against splashes, debris, and grindings. I have seen but do not have bifocal safety glasses. The lower portion is magnifying. I never wore safety glasses around the house doing projects and of course would get crap in my eyes. Now I need them seeing close up and hardly ever get junk in my eyes. You get used to them, like shooting glasses.

 

[texasmr2]

Wow the topic went from relevant to completely disturbing in 0.01 seconds, some people.

 

[dynoman]

Bruce , my mom had the lens surgery done 3 years ago at age 86 , and she doesn't need glasses anymore !!

 

[dynoman]

If the pump doesn't hold up,I'll get me a double pumper. Like my GN

You could send it out to Razor for a rebuild !!

 

[1952ray]

You could send it out to Razor for a rebuild !!

Well to tell you the truth, the shaft on the right side did fail about 14 months ago, I won't share that story however no one would believe what I looked like with just the left shaft pump up!

 

[Bruce Urie]

Well, fellas, your prayers and concern worked very well for me.....the left eye surgery went without any problems...if you call a four hour delay when we got there due to a blown fuse at the surgical center......had to cool up the place first.....long wait....the waiting really put the willies on me.......and the operating room was VERY intimidating to see! All these Star Wars type of machines, long rotating mechanical arms all in the air from several different type of machines....I was put down on a thick black rubber table.....first thing I said was "Where's the mic for me to say my last words? And I want to talk to the warden!"

The doc taped my right eye, then proceeded to put this huge machine thingy over my left eye, and saying in a very STRONG type voice: "Don't move, Bruce, DON'T YOU DARE MOVE!" (slight whimpering noise from me, but I managed.....then this clicking, going around thingy with lights, disco colors, "Staying Alive" type of sounds...that took about 15 minutes......after that they wheeled me over to another section....this time I could only see pure blur of the lights in the ceiling! Man, what the? (Found out that my eyeball lens and cataracts were pulverized then sucked out! (By a Dyson floor vac I guess)

This time some injection juice went coursing through my body from the port installed previously in the back of my right hand (still no mic for last words yet......where was that damn thing? I wanted to say goodbye to my loving wife and all of you fellas here) Then I started to not give a damn about anything for some reason! The feeling somewhat like finding no oil leaks under my GN for the first time ever!!!! That good! (And still a dream)

This time, though I felt like I was hovering over the surface of Mars and couldn't feel a thing....just some slight tugging, and some tool like thingy cutting, slicing....though I thought I heard "ONE HAM SAMWICH COMING UP!!!". Whew! Did I care? Hell no, felt like I had entered heaven with a brand new Grand National with a brand new turbo from Bison! Felt that good!

After recovery for about an hour, my Shirley drove me home......but WOW! Even though I had a cap over my left eye, after a few hours the light became so bright! Colors! Beautiful! When I took the cap off, I could see incredible without glasses! Later test showed 20/25 vision! The whole world became crystal clear and so bright! I was just floored! Amazed I could see like new!!!

Have been taking three different types of drops four times a day for the last week, now it's down to two........BUT.....I now have to use magnifying glasses (store bought 2.00 power) to read or see up close when busting up bolts under my cars or for precision measurements....i.e. venier calipers, rulers, drill numbers, conversion or decimal charts, anything close-up....though that bothers me some, it's a big change in life for me, so I have no choice......now it's the opposite of my efforts to see.....old way, glasses to see long distance, ok close-up....now it's no glasses to see long distance, glasses to see up close.....hell, I'm fortunate to see at all...considering how bad other people in this world have with vision. I'm truly grateful and thankful!

My right eye operation is only a few hours from now today.......this time it's not as intimidating to me......but I will ask again where's the mic for my last words.

The moon was out the other night.....so I went outside to test my new left eye......I focused on the Tranquility Base area where Apollo II landed back in 20 July 1969 (I had some work on that lunar lander back then)

I then saw the lower part of the lander still sitting there and right next to the American flag Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin left was a small plaque!!! I then really looked hard to read it......get this!!! Amazing! It said "I was here first...Mike Licht" I could see that good!!!!!! Lordy, that Mike!!!!

Thanks for letting me share and thanks so much for all of your prayers and positive advice, guys. I kid you not, all of that made me feel better when I first walked into the place. I've got some swell buddies here who really care. Good feeling for me.


Bruce '87 Grand National