Stimulus check round #2

[Little6pack]

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.



This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q.. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:


* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .


* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.


* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .


* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala ..


* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .


* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .


* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, keep the money in America by:


1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.


(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !


No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

 

[injdinjn]

Thanks, I wondered how to spend my 2 cents.

 

[asto-t]

Funny but makes some sense!

 

[Little6pack]

Thanks, I wondered how to spend my 2 cents.

No kidding!

 

[YouLikeThat]

Where does weed come from

 

[whitehot84]

I'm putting together my wish list as we speak.

 

[justin84]

where does weed come from

hahahahaha

 

[INEEDAGN]

If I buy more parts for my GN, most if not all of it will stay in the u.s. depending on what I buy.

If I spend it at the casino, it will go to either the indian reservation or the state, depending on the casino.

If I buy windows for my house, it will stay in america. Then 30% will come back around again at tax time.

If I buy a beater pickup it will stay in the u.s. as long as they don't replace it with an import.

If my wife buys a laptop, most of it goes overseas.

If we use it to go on the power tour, half goes to the arabs and half goes to the hotels.

If we take it to vegas, god only knows where it will end up!

These are the most likely scenarios at my household, in order.

 

[JOHNDEEREGN]

If I buy more parts for my GN, most if not all of it will stay in the u.s. depending on what I buy.

If I spend it at the casino, it will go to either the indian reservation or the state, depending on the casino.

If I buy windows for my house, it will stay in america. Then 30% will come back around again at tax time.

If I buy a beater pickup it will stay in the u.s. as long as they don't replace it with an import.

If my wife buys a laptop, most of it goes overseas.

If we use it to go on the power tour, half goes to the arabs and half goes to the hotels.

If we take it to vegas, god only knows where it will end up!

These are the most likely scenarios at my household, in order.

Nice purple charger Bob.

 

[GregInAtl]

you forgot to mention outr stimulus they "give" us (Give us back) will be taxed next year, which most people dont know, so they'll owe money to the IRS and actually perpetuate the sitiuation. If they'd quit this lie of stimulous, and make people survive on what they earned, we'd be better off in the end.
Oh one more thing, you should have to pass a drug test to get unemployment....If I have to pass to get a job, they should have to pass to get paid w/ my tax dollars from that job.

 

[dr_frankenstein]

LMAO!

you know....... I never got a stimulus the first time.....

I wonder if I will get it this time?

I really could use it!

A.j.