I found these and thought you might enjoy them.
If you have any one liners ad them.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's disease?
You get to meet new people every day!
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They've got boyfriends already.
What is the similarity between a woman and laxative?
They both irritate the sh!t out of you!
What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
Why is the space between a girl's t!ts and hips called the waist?
Because you could put another pair of t!ts in there!
Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backwards?
They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.
Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?
They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.
Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her t!ts went.
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
What's the medical term for a female-to-male sex change operation?
Strapadictomy.
How is a pvssy like a grapefruit?
The best ones squirt when you eat them.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito quits sucking when you smack it.
How do you tell if a chick's too fat to fock?
When you pull her pants down and her azz is still in them.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
Why is it so hard for women to take a piss in the morning?
Did you ever try to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
They don't have balls to scratch.
What is 60 foot long and stinks of piss?
A conga line in an old folk’s home!
What's the best thing about a bl0w job?
Five minutes of peace and quiet.
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK?
One got his head blown off and the other was assassinated.
Two condoms walk past a gay bar. One of them says to
the other, "Hey, whaddya say we go in there & get sh!t-faced?"
If you have any one liners ad them.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's disease?
You get to meet new people every day!
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They've got boyfriends already.
What is the similarity between a woman and laxative?
They both irritate the sh!t out of you!
What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
Why is the space between a girl's t!ts and hips called the waist?
Because you could put another pair of t!ts in there!
Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backwards?
They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.
Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?
They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.
Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her t!ts went.
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
What's the medical term for a female-to-male sex change operation?
Strapadictomy.
How is a pvssy like a grapefruit?
The best ones squirt when you eat them.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito quits sucking when you smack it.
How do you tell if a chick's too fat to fock?
When you pull her pants down and her azz is still in them.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
Why is it so hard for women to take a piss in the morning?
Did you ever try to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
They don't have balls to scratch.
What is 60 foot long and stinks of piss?
A conga line in an old folk’s home!
What's the best thing about a bl0w job?
Five minutes of peace and quiet.
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK?
One got his head blown off and the other was assassinated.
Two condoms walk past a gay bar. One of them says to
the other, "Hey, whaddya say we go in there & get sh!t-faced?"
