A Sunday" Chuckle"....

Chuck Leeper

Toxic old bastard
Staff member
A lady was driving down a country road when she suddenly hit a squirrel. She slammed the brakes and ran back to where the poor critter lay. Frantically looking around, she saw a veterinary office across the road. She scooped up the squirrel and ran inside, where she found a crusty old veterinarian sitting in a plush old chair reading a newspaper and looking mildly disturbed by her sudden entry.

She said, “Sir, can you help me? I seem to have hit this squirrel with my car, and now I don’t know what to do.”

With barely a glance in her direction, the crusty old vet said, “He’s dead. That’ll be $30 for the office visit.”

The lady was a little taken aback, and said “How can you say that he’s dead from all the way over there, without even looking at him? And the nerve, to charge me for an office visit, at that!”

The old vet got up and wordlessly took the squirrel, and laid it on an exam table. Then he left the room, and returned with a mangy old cat that was probably as old as he was. He placed the cat on the exam table by the squirrel. The cat sniffed the squirrel from nose to tail; then let out a forlorn single “meow”, jumped off the table and left. The old vet nodded a couple of times, then left the room again, this time returning with an old Labrador retriever. He lead the dog over to the exam table, and the dog started licking the squirrel up one side and down the other. Finally the dog let out a forlorn “woof”, and walked away.

The old vet looked at the lady and said “I’m sorry ma’am, we did all we could do but he didn’t make it; he’s dead. That’ll be $500.”

The lady was becoming apoplectic at this point and could barely control her rage. “How can you charge me $500 for THAT?!”

“Well,” said the old vet, “it’s $250 for the cat scan and another $250 for the Lab work.”