Jack Evers
Member
- Joined
- May 24, 2001
- Messages
- 690
My brother from Wisconsin sent this to me. I don't recall seeing anything in the local press, but found it interesting just the same:
We all know about the Darwin Awards - It's an annual
honor given to the person who did the gene pool the
biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily
stupid way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was
killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of
him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
And this year's nominee is:
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering
metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above
the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled
the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The
type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab
finally figured out what it was and what had happened.
It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO
unit (Jet Assisted Take Off - actually a solid fuel
rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport
planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields.
He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and
found a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached
the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed
and fired off the JATO!
The facts as best as could be determined are that the
operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at
a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash
site. This was established by the prominent scorched
and melted asphalt at that location.
The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached
maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to
reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing
at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds.
The driver, soon to be pilot, most likely would have
experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting
F-14 jocks under full afterburners, basically causing
him to become insignificant for the remainder of the
event. However, the automobile remained on the straight
highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the
driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing
the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road
surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4
miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125
feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.
Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable; however,
small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted
from the crater and fingernail and bone shards were
removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion
of the steering wheel.
Epilog:
It has been calculated that this moron nearly reached
Mach I, attaining a ground-speed of approximately 420 mph.
We all know about the Darwin Awards - It's an annual
honor given to the person who did the gene pool the
biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily
stupid way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was
killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of
him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
And this year's nominee is:
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering
metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above
the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled
the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The
type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab
finally figured out what it was and what had happened.
It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO
unit (Jet Assisted Take Off - actually a solid fuel
rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport
planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields.
He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and
found a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached
the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed
and fired off the JATO!
The facts as best as could be determined are that the
operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at
a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash
site. This was established by the prominent scorched
and melted asphalt at that location.
The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached
maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to
reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing
at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds.
The driver, soon to be pilot, most likely would have
experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting
F-14 jocks under full afterburners, basically causing
him to become insignificant for the remainder of the
event. However, the automobile remained on the straight
highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the
driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing
the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road
surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4
miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125
feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.
Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable; however,
small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted
from the crater and fingernail and bone shards were
removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion
of the steering wheel.
Epilog:
It has been calculated that this moron nearly reached
Mach I, attaining a ground-speed of approximately 420 mph.
Maybe they attached the rockets incorrectly or fired them wrong
