1. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
2. A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar. The barman says, "I'll
serve you, but don't start anything."
3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
4. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does
this taste funny to you?"
5. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to
Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" Exclaimed Daisy.
6. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Saran Wrap
shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
7. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes,
I'm positive..."
8. A man became conscious in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor
replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off."
9.. I went to a seafood disco party last week.... and pulled a
mussel.
10. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a
fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.
11. A man walks into a doctor's office. "What seems to be the
problem?" asks the doc. "It's... um...well... I have five penises"
replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers
fit?" "Like a glove."
12. Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this B.S. before.
2. A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar. The barman says, "I'll
serve you, but don't start anything."
3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
4. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does
this taste funny to you?"
5. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to
Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" Exclaimed Daisy.
6. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Saran Wrap
shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
7. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes,
I'm positive..."
8. A man became conscious in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor
replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off."
9.. I went to a seafood disco party last week.... and pulled a
mussel.
10. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a
fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.
11. A man walks into a doctor's office. "What seems to be the
problem?" asks the doc. "It's... um...well... I have five penises"
replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers
fit?" "Like a glove."
12. Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this B.S. before.
