Maybe a repeat, but I hadn't seen them before.
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile. "
#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document. "
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired. "
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you
didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun.
#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh? "
#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it will help. Oh . . . did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K. , I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket. "
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog? "
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey $#!*! . "
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven. "
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC. "
#4 "Just how big were those two beers? "
#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want. "
#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend
of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.
and the best one . . . . .
#1 "you didn't think we give pretty women tickets? . . . You're right, we don't. . . . . Sign here.
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile. "
#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document. "
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired. "
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you
didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun.
#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh? "
#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it will help. Oh . . . did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K. , I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket. "
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog? "
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey $#!*! . "
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven. "
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC. "
#4 "Just how big were those two beers? "
#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want. "
#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend
of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.
and the best one . . . . .
#1 "you didn't think we give pretty women tickets? . . . You're right, we don't. . . . . Sign here.
