Wow I don't think I'd be so quick to sell off my rides if someone I wasn't married to was in this kind of crap. maybe if you were married, but definitley not a fiance. For all you know the relationship you have may not last, then you'll kick yourself for selling them over some girl you used to date, but to each his own.
Bad News everyone, I hate to do this
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Silver 'T' Top
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Dump her, keep the rides!!!
chopped39
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400 for two kids
That is a drop in the bucket. they live with you double it. My neighbor pays 360 a week for three kids.Now lets go back to when i was twenty three. livin with the p's having fun chasin chicks by 27 met a chick with two kids and i got all messed up with her. dumped her for another nightmare that I married.Well dumb ass me went back and screwed around with the ex and my daughter is 10 years old now .I pay 84 bucks a week .You have yourself a real winner . My lawyer told me 20,000 and a 20% chance to get custody .I am not knocking your girlfriend but for her not to get custody there is more than you know about .It is easy for other poeple to tell you to get out of this mess your in.But you have to do it. trust me when i tell you.DO NOT SELL YOUR CARS. That will do nothing.I sold my Ls6 chevelle and my 70 gs stage 1 so i could buy my house eight years later I filed chapter 7 on $240,000.I am not proud of this but If I could go back and do it all over I would have changed a alot .I know she is telling you not to read this post but I dont care.GET OUT and dont bury yourself at such a young age.You should be out having fun. not tied down and living paycheck to paycheck and driving a hyundai . make list of all the good thinks and make a list of all the bad things in this relationship.Let me tell you what list is going to be longer.Sorry if this upsets you . been there done that. good luck
That is a drop in the bucket. they live with you double it. My neighbor pays 360 a week for three kids.Now lets go back to when i was twenty three. livin with the p's having fun chasin chicks by 27 met a chick with two kids and i got all messed up with her. dumped her for another nightmare that I married.Well dumb ass me went back and screwed around with the ex and my daughter is 10 years old now .I pay 84 bucks a week .You have yourself a real winner . My lawyer told me 20,000 and a 20% chance to get custody .I am not knocking your girlfriend but for her not to get custody there is more than you know about .It is easy for other poeple to tell you to get out of this mess your in.But you have to do it. trust me when i tell you.DO NOT SELL YOUR CARS. That will do nothing.I sold my Ls6 chevelle and my 70 gs stage 1 so i could buy my house eight years later I filed chapter 7 on $240,000.I am not proud of this but If I could go back and do it all over I would have changed a alot .I know she is telling you not to read this post but I dont care.GET OUT and dont bury yourself at such a young age.You should be out having fun. not tied down and living paycheck to paycheck and driving a hyundai . make list of all the good thinks and make a list of all the bad things in this relationship.Let me tell you what list is going to be longer.Sorry if this upsets you . been there done that. good luckcorsair231
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The bar she worked at wouldn't have happend to be a strip club would it??? Sorry...had to ask. I have to agree about the custody issue. For the mom to only have limited visitation there has to be something else.
That said, only you know your heart and most of us love to live by our hearts but sometimes our head has got to let our heart know who's boss. If your head agrees with your heart that this girl is the one then that's you're decision to make, not anybody's on this board. Make very sure your head is involved in the decision making process though and that it is not just following the hearts lead.
Sometimes we suffer because of things beyond our control and sometimes we suffer out of our own choice because we create our on hell to wallow in. There is a saying, "Trust, but verify." If you decide this is the girl then you can't have secrets. Find a new lawyer to review the case. Go to this lawyer together. Seek credit counseling. You say your home has lost value but how much will it really cost you to get out of it? It may be less expensive to do that and then move closer to her kids. The judge could review the custody decision and may reduce or eliminate support if custody is changed.
You may have to sell a car(s) and if you do then it is only a possession. I know, I've been there. When my ex left I had to decide if I wanted to keep my house which would be a burden, or to sell it off. I decided that I liked where I was so I had to sell my motorcycle that was already paid off to be able to afford to keep my house. I do miss my bike but I am glad I kept the house although I may never have another bike again. But if your cars are running and paid for and you are making payments on her car or another one and money is tight then you will probably come out better selling that one unless you can pay it off by selling one of the other ones. It may mean she has to drive something that she doesn't like but you will not be making monthly payments on a newer car and it would be a lot easier to replace with something else in the future. Plus I'm sure there are other means to tighten you belt on your budget.
Bottom line, figure out if she's worth it. Keep the cars if you can. Sell them if you have too. If money is too tight, give up beer.
That said, only you know your heart and most of us love to live by our hearts but sometimes our head has got to let our heart know who's boss. If your head agrees with your heart that this girl is the one then that's you're decision to make, not anybody's on this board. Make very sure your head is involved in the decision making process though and that it is not just following the hearts lead.
Sometimes we suffer because of things beyond our control and sometimes we suffer out of our own choice because we create our on hell to wallow in. There is a saying, "Trust, but verify." If you decide this is the girl then you can't have secrets. Find a new lawyer to review the case. Go to this lawyer together. Seek credit counseling. You say your home has lost value but how much will it really cost you to get out of it? It may be less expensive to do that and then move closer to her kids. The judge could review the custody decision and may reduce or eliminate support if custody is changed.
You may have to sell a car(s) and if you do then it is only a possession. I know, I've been there. When my ex left I had to decide if I wanted to keep my house which would be a burden, or to sell it off. I decided that I liked where I was so I had to sell my motorcycle that was already paid off to be able to afford to keep my house. I do miss my bike but I am glad I kept the house although I may never have another bike again. But if your cars are running and paid for and you are making payments on her car or another one and money is tight then you will probably come out better selling that one unless you can pay it off by selling one of the other ones. It may mean she has to drive something that she doesn't like but you will not be making monthly payments on a newer car and it would be a lot easier to replace with something else in the future. Plus I'm sure there are other means to tighten you belt on your budget.
Bottom line, figure out if she's worth it. Keep the cars if you can. Sell them if you have too. If money is too tight, give up beer.
I feel for your situation, and know there are many circumstances that get you to this point feeling the need to sell. Take a breath, relax and look at it from a numeric stand.
$400 month= $100 week, = 5 days at $20 more income per day. (or $100 a weekend of side work)
Can you ask for a raise, or find side work, or create extra income? This is alot of money but at the same time its not out of reach. I am in a similar position where it seems you have to pay out more than you bring in, and I survive on side work (car detailing, audio install, electrical work etc etc) until the real estate market recovers, and I can once again make money w/ my near useless license.
I think you are experiencing life, everyone has this at some point, and you will learn a lot about your ability WHEN...not if...WHEN you over come this. Try keeping the house since its payment a month is similar to an apartment, and would create more debt by selling. All things are temporary, in a year or so, (after the election anyway) the media's outlook will change, and we should see the economy improve, and give us all more opportunities.
In your situation we cut cable to a smaller package, reduced home phone to the minimum $25 a month deal, ate a lot of left over and hamburger helper, and looked for ways to make $50 here and there. By doing this we made/ saved $15,000 in one year....and we are by no means highly skilled, above avg intelligence or any of that. We were smply determined to succeed...did I mention we had a new born at the same time?!
Hold your head high, grab the horns, dig your spurs in and give it he((!
The alternative, is be glad you are not married....you have more options this way. Be careful not to give her more than she is willing to give. You selling your things as a single guy sounds like blind love, or possibly infatuation.
Slow down, think, act slow, and make sure she is not trying to sell your stuff to help her. that starts when you get married
$400 month= $100 week, = 5 days at $20 more income per day. (or $100 a weekend of side work)
Can you ask for a raise, or find side work, or create extra income? This is alot of money but at the same time its not out of reach. I am in a similar position where it seems you have to pay out more than you bring in, and I survive on side work (car detailing, audio install, electrical work etc etc) until the real estate market recovers, and I can once again make money w/ my near useless license.
I think you are experiencing life, everyone has this at some point, and you will learn a lot about your ability WHEN...not if...WHEN you over come this. Try keeping the house since its payment a month is similar to an apartment, and would create more debt by selling. All things are temporary, in a year or so, (after the election anyway) the media's outlook will change, and we should see the economy improve, and give us all more opportunities.
In your situation we cut cable to a smaller package, reduced home phone to the minimum $25 a month deal, ate a lot of left over and hamburger helper, and looked for ways to make $50 here and there. By doing this we made/ saved $15,000 in one year....and we are by no means highly skilled, above avg intelligence or any of that. We were smply determined to succeed...did I mention we had a new born at the same time?!
Hold your head high, grab the horns, dig your spurs in and give it he((!
The alternative, is be glad you are not married....you have more options this way. Be careful not to give her more than she is willing to give. You selling your things as a single guy sounds like blind love, or possibly infatuation.
Slow down, think, act slow, and make sure she is not trying to sell your stuff to help her. that starts when you get married
Good advice.
My observation to the sitituation is that you have too much debt and the extra $400 is the part that puts you over the edge. I would recommend cleaning up your debt financial situation, first. It may seem simple, but make sure you make more than money than your expenses. Sit down with a piece of paper (or spreadsheet) and add them up and track it to your bank account. (Watch it for a few months) This also mean what you charge every month, if you charge $1000 month but only pay $500, this is not sustainable in the long term. Figure out how to make that work first.
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