Brer Rabbit
Pursuit Specialist
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2005
- Messages
- 2,892
Did a half hearted search and didnt see this posted so here it is.
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin
Awards are bestowed. Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his
intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be
robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He
peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
meat cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The
company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for
himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's
claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for
his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find
a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean
bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to
the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies claiming they were not mad but
had been picked up by the driver. The deception wasn't discovered for 3
days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from
serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to
see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on
the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register,
which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk
and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash
he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?]
7. An Arkansas man wanted some beer pretty badly so he
decided he'd throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block hit the window, bounced back
hitting the would-be thief on the head and knocking him unconscious. The
liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
the stores CCTV.
8. As a female shopper left a New York store, a man grabbed
her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was
able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
minutes, the police apprehended the thief. They put him in the patrol
car and drove him back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the
car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
"Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a
gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said that these weren't available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away again. - THIS WAS AWARDED
THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor
home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.
Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
motor home near vomit and spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that
the man had admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he pushed his
siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of
the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh
he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these
with friends and family....unless of course one of these individuals by
chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad
they are distant and hope they remain lost.
*** Remember.... They walk among us!!!*** And They Breed
...... Be very afraid!!
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin
Awards are bestowed. Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his
intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be
robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He
peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
meat cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The
company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for
himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's
claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for
his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find
a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean
bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to
the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies claiming they were not mad but
had been picked up by the driver. The deception wasn't discovered for 3
days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from
serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to
see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on
the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register,
which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk
and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash
he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?]
7. An Arkansas man wanted some beer pretty badly so he
decided he'd throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block hit the window, bounced back
hitting the would-be thief on the head and knocking him unconscious. The
liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
the stores CCTV.
8. As a female shopper left a New York store, a man grabbed
her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was
able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
minutes, the police apprehended the thief. They put him in the patrol
car and drove him back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the
car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
"Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a
gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said that these weren't available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away again. - THIS WAS AWARDED
THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor
home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.
Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
motor home near vomit and spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that
the man had admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he pushed his
siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of
the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh
he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these
with friends and family....unless of course one of these individuals by
chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad
they are distant and hope they remain lost.
*** Remember.... They walk among us!!!*** And They Breed
...... Be very afraid!!
