The selenoid latches in, if you look carefully you will see the two clips that hold it on. Kinda rock it back and forth. While pulling upwards.
As the gasket question.. I replace them. On the cars that have had bad ones, I tried the carb cleaner, propane, etc.. no changes so I ASSUMMED they were ok.. well when come to find out they werent.. boy was I PO'd.. The plenum gasket gets full of oil..but most likely the TB vacuum block gasket.
Lot of hit or miss.. I hate this problem..some cars in an hour..bam its done.. Others..I've spent 6-8 hours tracking stuff. even more sometimes. No cut dry answer finding a breach in your air tract.
You still could have a bad MAF, hole in the IC, cracked header, I mean any hole that breaches the air will cuase an issue on a car that runs a MAF sensor.
Start on the cheap, work your way torwards the expensive. Vacuum hoses, AC PCV, little gaskets, check valves..are all cheap. Change them now..or change them latter. yeah I know it sucks.. what can I say, thats why its called work.
HTH
Julio