My engagement went down the tubes!

[Joe 1320]

Bro, I can relate to your story. My marriage ended due to stuff just like this. If you don't get anything else out of any of the replies, get this: YOU TWO ARE NOT COMPATIBLE. You may care for her, but it can't be at the expense of peace of mind. Even if you were able to reconcile, her attitudes will return at a later date. Run away from her as fast as you can and let someone who will appreciate you find her way into you life. You are lucky you found this out before you got married.

 

[darb]

I can tell you from experience, time will heal everything. That is easy to say, but father time will take care of it all, trust me. Good luck my friend.

 

[Quick6'n'-K.C.]

Originally posted by GnTooFast4u
I have known the girl of my life for 5 yrs and for the last 1yr we have been engaged to get married. Well ever since then we have had our little battles. Like most relationships do. Well all of a sudden she started saying that I have hurt her alot. Reason for that comment was I never really expressed my feelings to her. I showed her love/car/respect.I never yelled or hit her or even emotionally assualted her. But she also said she did alot of things she didn't feel like doing to make me happy. Then she comes out with you have been liying to me, about yourself. You dont let me know what ur feeling and u put on a front to cover it up but I can see it in your eyes. Then I was working two jobs to buy her a nice ring. But that made things worse. She would complain about you never spend time with me. Or like you never wanted to do anything. Sometimes I did sometimes I didn't. I always gave her the most I could give her. And she did the same. I was happy with it but she wasn't happy. Then one night she got really mad at me cause I didn't want to do anything. And you know how woman are they blow things out of porportion. So she gets mad and upset and talks to a so called "friend" heavy heavy drug addict/co worker and she goes screw him. She didn't really listen to her cause she stuck around for a while more. Then one night she goes its over I cant take it anymore. I dont love you anymore and get the fu&* out of my life. Didn't even get a chance to talk it out. We havent talked alot in a month. But yesterday night we talked for about an hour on the phone and she says she misses me and it makes her sad seeing me cause she thinks of all the issues we had. Then after I said I have gotten over the fact we arent togethor anymore but I'm still not over you. My love for u isn't a light switch, I just cant flip my love off and on, my love isn't like that! You have been the best thing that has happen to me. and my love for you has taken on a brand new meaning,And you are the owner of my heart. And then she goes do u think I'm over you. Do you think I dont have feeling for you. Then she goes I had to keep some of my dignity so I left. And I go you got what u have wanted " I let her know what I felt and thought, my deep thoughts and feelings" then she goes well it was too late. Guys I dont know what to do anymore. I love this woman to death and she means the world to me. And it shocked to see that something so great "our love" ended up here. What should I do or say to win her back. Or to realize we both were acting dumb. And not ruin something so nice. Its driving me crazy. And everysince we broke up she's been drinking and hanging out with the wrong crowed and I tell her not to but she says its her life stay the f out. So I quit saying that. But what the hell is going on with her? Is it worth my time/pain/heart? What the hell should I do? I'm so confused! Should I just leave her alone? What should I do? What would be the best thing to do? Any help or support will be needed and appreciated.

Allan
Ps: Why is she doing this?

WELL-
it has been a week- how are you doing, and did you kick her to the curb?
better yet, did you find a new gal friend??

 

[Little6pack]

Originally posted by GnTooFast4u
Ps: Why is she doing this?

Because she is a woman!


Better that it is ended now than later cause it would cost you more later on.

No male or female couple is 100 percent compatible & never will be..

Time to move on BRO.. Who knows maybe she will come running back after going out with some other losers.

 

[TireFryer]

this might sound sissy or whatever...get this book and both of you read it:
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, Ph.D.
I have had numerous people benefit from this book, including myself and my wife, just by better understanding each other! You'd be surprised...I was shocked about what I didn't know about her! I thought I was doing all it takes to make my wife happy by working hard, buying her gifts and flowers all the time, but yet she didn't feel "loved" by me. Come to find out her love language (this is what makes her feel loved) is physical touch, NOT acts of service...so just holding her hand during dinner or when taking a walk or at the movies gave her more of a sense of love from me than any gift I could ever give her! For me, since she is physical touch, she thought I was the same, but come to find out I am acts of service and words of affirmation. From then on, it's like I found a whole new person to be with at all times and we both love it! We had our shares of problems and fights as any couple does, but now, it doesn't impact us as badly or negatively as before!!! We have never been closer and gets better day to day. This has also helped a handful of people that I know of in saving their marriages (stopped from getting divorced!) and people keep their engagements. Read it, figure out your love language as well as hers, and then shower her love language, and key here is...MEAN it when you shower her love language. Hope this lil' rant of mine helps you out. Best of luck and I hope it all works out; things like this always have a way of doing so in the end!

 

[gn85]

So THAT's what that means...

Originally posted by TireFryer
this might sound sissy or whatever...get this book and both of you read it:
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, Ph.D.
I have had numerous people benefit from this book, including myself and my wife, just by better understanding each other! You'd be surprised...I was shocked about what I didn't know about her! I thought I was doing all it takes to make my wife happy by working hard, buying her gifts and flowers all the time, but yet she didn't feel "loved" by me. Come to find out her love language (this is what makes her feel loved) is physical touch, NOT acts of service...so just holding her hand during dinner or when taking a walk or at the movies gave her more of a sense of love from me than any gift I could ever give her

So, that's what is meant by "love thy neighbor". Hrm... might have to try it that way instead. Just kidding... great bit of information. Didn't sound TOO sissy.

 

[Gmachine]

Hold in there!

I'm going through somewhat the same thing right now. It all started on Christmas eve when her sister was diagnosed with lukemia and the whole holiday when to hell in a hand basket for me. Things already weren't going good, but I stuck it out and tried to be there for her and her sister. I guess all the trips to the hospital and all never meant anything. Two months later and it was over. Things have gotten better though. I've done things I never had before and meeting new people.

Ryan

 

[Vector]

You can believe me, I say from too much experience here. She will do her bad boy fling then come back you crying to get back together, that it was too special to end the way it did and the two of you have to try again. I promise that she will make it sound like it was a two way street even though she left you.
If you give she will sub-consiously know that she has you strung up over the fire and will deal with you as she wishes.
Tell her, use THESE WORDS, "Don't try to manipulate me with your tears. Stop your damn crying, think about what you did, put yourself in my place. Would YOU take you back?"
Say that to her. It will piss her off terribly, she will get defensive and yell at you. That puts you in the position of strength to better deal with it as you see fit.
Good Luck, stay strong!

 

[TireFryer]

gn85:

Hey man, I say of ti works, it works! Makes my life a lot easier as well as her's so it's a win win situation!

As for "love thy neighbor", go for it...it this is what it takes to HIT IT do it! hehe

 

[88 CuttyClassic]

i started going with my girl when she was young, 16. Things were great then she started saying she's missing out on stuff and that i already had my chance to be young. I gave her time to be young while i did my thing and now she's back and things are better than ever.

 

[blackshoebox]

One word says it all...

....RUN!?!


....oh and do not look back!

You are young and have plenty of time to worry about getting married and all the bells and whistles that come with it.

 

[Big Mike]

Same thing here ,12 years down the toilet and thank God I didn't marry the girl.I left her and she bothered me for a year or so!
Dude...Summer is HERE! Go GET SOME !I'LL BET YOU WON"T EVEN REMEMBER HER NAME!

 

[turbot2496]

Dude chicks a loser be glad your out of it

Girls like this are the some of the worst kind. They get their kicks by making you miserable. They piss you off and make you unhappy and then just when your over them they call you back up and try to start the whole cycle over again. When you meet the right girl, you'll know it. She will do everything reasonable to make you happy, not try to run you through an emotional wringer. Just keep dating and keep high standards. Too many good women out there to hang with a psycho basket case.