Otto and Jim got off the plane in Vegas with smiles on their faces. Clutched in Otto's hand was a booklet he'd bought from Jake, their flight attendant. They were also broke since they'd given all their travel money, both dollars, to Jake for the book. Jake had strongly suggested they buy this booklet entitled "How To Find Lots Of Babes While In Las Vegas Even Though You're Ugly and Stupid."
"Thet book is made fer us" chortled Otto when Jake had offered the booklet to them. Jim had agreed by nodding since he's a man of few words. His mamma had told him to not use either word he knew until he could use both in the same sentence and that opportunity hadn't presented itself in his short life.
They then both walked out of the terminal and onto the Strip and immediatley they were in awe of all the bright lights.
"Whoa", said Otto. Nothing said Jim.
"Kin ya imagine how many mice gotta turn the wheels to git them electrics?" Jim agreed by saying nothing.
"First we gots to look in this here book whar to find them thar wimmen. Then once we finds where they be, we'll give ole Len a phone call on this here sail phone....he can join up with us," says Otto.
"Look," exclaimed Otto, "Wimmen is ranch hands hereabouts. Thems at the Chicken Ranch, Bunny Ranch, Mustang Ranch....hell them even gots Cats at the Cathouse. I know Len like anumuls since he tole me he goes ta see pigs a lot. Let's phone Len."
Otto got out his plastic Toys-R-Us phone that he'd bought just before he left, pushed the pretend button and yelled as loud as he could in the pretend mouthpiece.....
"Len, whar are yooooou. We is here."
Len was at his shop over 4 miles away but was able to hear Otto's yell with his Dumbo type ears.
"Whooptie doo, Otto and Jim are here," screamed Len and promptly dropped a transmisson on his foot.
"Ouch, ouch, ouch," whined Len, "I'll have to charge the customer extra for that.
Len ran outside, climbed onto his roof, shinnied up his antenna, grinned because he liked how it felt on his crotch, made a mental note to climb up here more often, and yelled in the direction of the airport.
"I'm coming boys", then lost his grip and slipped all the way down his antenna pole. Ignoring the friction flames that now engulfed his crotch, he jumped into his Buick for a quick trip to get the guys.
"Damn," exclaims Len, as he jumped back out of his car after remembering his Buick doesn't have a engine in it, and while slapping at his crotch he instead slid into his pickup's front seat. He made another mental note to try slapping his crotch more.
Racing as fast as his pickup's remaining 2 running cylinder's would take him, he made it to the Strip in front of the airport where he met up with Otto and Jim. They all exchanged hugs and back slaps, Len even slipped in a couple of self crotch slaps, and all appeared happy.
"Glad ya made it boys," says Len. "Lets go back to my place. The cold ones are awaitin'."
All the way to Len's place Len and Otto talked.... Jim never stopped nodding. Noticing how good his nod looked they put him into the backseat so everyone in cars behind them would think he was one of those package tray nodding dogs. Jim seemed to like it and even tried to appear more like a dog by lifting his leg and peeing on Len and Otto. They in turn seemed to like that.
Arriving at Len's place which is situated between Nevada's nuclear dump on one side and Nevada's other nuclear dump on the other side, they settled down to drink some beer and exchange lies. Noticing Jim wasn't with them they went out to the pickup to get him. He had used up all his pee while Len and Otto were gone, so he'd switched to poop. He still appeared happy.
Leaving the truck and contents until the next morning when the morning sun would help with the cleaning they all went to bed.
"Good night," yelled Len Boy.
"Good night," yelled Otto Boy.
"Fucck You," yelled Jim Boy....now very happy that he was able to use both his words in one sentence.
