Why Men Can't Win ....

[THE CROW]

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect
her from the rat race...you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework...you're gay.

If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing
lazy prick.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...
this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay...
you should get off your lazy ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her...that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you...it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks...it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet ...its male indifference.

If you cry...you're a wimp.
If you don't...you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her...you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you...she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy...that's domination.
If SHE asks you.........it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear...you're a pervert.
If you don't...you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape...you're sexist.
If you don't...you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape...you're vain.
If you don't ...you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers...you're after something.
If you don't ...you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements...you're full of sh!t.
If you're not ...you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache...she's tired.
If you have a headache...you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often...you're oversexed.
If you don't...there must be someone else.

 

[Vector]

She will never admit she is wrong when you both know she lost the argument.
If you press her to admit fault you are a bastard for prolonging the argument.
If you both know that you lost the argument, youMUST admit as such or you will be accused of thinking you are Mr. Perfect.

She will never apologize when she does something wrong.
She can bring up the past, but if you bring up the past - LOOK OUT!

 

[whitehot84]

I can relate to the flower thing. Some time ago I was driving down the road and saw a guy selling roses. I'm rather frugal and don't feel that buying something that is going to wilt and die in a couple of days is very intelligent but these were extremely cheap. I bought a dozen roses and picked up a card on the way home saying something to the effect of "Just thinking about you". Well as can be expected after the initial shock wore off she says "OK what did you do?" Nothing, was my reply. End of conversation. After a week of suspicious looks and questions I told her she would not have that problem anymore because that would be the last time I bought flowers. We can't win.

 

[XLR8]

I remember going to a ball game with my wife. Before we get in the car I asked if she had the tickets. "Yes I do" was her reply. After we get downtown, pay for parking, and start walking to Coors Field, she said she forgot the tickets. I reminded her that I asked if she had them and that she said yes. Then she blamed me since I didn't make her SHOW me the tickets before we left!

 

[GN One Day...]

If a man asks a woman for an opinion, he won't get it (but you still have to ask)
If a woman asks a man for an opinion, she doesn't really want it (just wants you to agree blindly)

If a man comes to a woman with a problem, he wants to fix it
If a woman comes to a man with a problem, she doesn't want to fix it (just "feel" about the problem so it happens again)


Those are the 2 bits of wisdom I wish I'd known as a teenager.

 

[DCEPTCN]

Every time I say something nice to the wife, she just asks me:" Alright, what did you buy for that damned car now?"......and of course then I have to tell her.


Also, her two brothers are the most spineless, chit-talking little weasels I've ever met, but if I feel like staying home for, say, every third of her family get togethers, I'm not being 'the bigger man'. She doesn't understand that resisting the urge to bounce their little skulls off the asphalt has made me the better man for ,like, the past year........but I'm jumping from the woman to the in-laws.

I guess that brings up another point, though:
If somebody disrespects you and you proceed to dent their head, you acting like a stupid animal.
If somebody disrespects you and maturely let it slide, they lose some pride in you.

Has anybody else noticed that the very same things that they first liked about you become the things they nag about the most later on? At first she loved that I spent so much time playing my guitar, now she hates it. Her laast boyfriend had a Camaro, so when she met me she loved that I was all about a car she had never even heard of.....now she's sick of hearing about it.

 

[1badTTA]

When a man finds a woman he thinks "I hope she never changes" but she does.
When a woman finds a man she thinks "I can change him" but he never changes.

Whats the difference between a Girlfriend and a Wife? About 45 pounds.
Whats the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband? About 45 minutes.

 

[HurstGN]

When she has made her point, right or wrong, the argument is over...she won. Anything you say after this point is the beginning of the next argument.

Dan

 

[BBcutty's_grl]

If you want it too often...you're oversexed.
If you don't...there must be someone else

This is just crazy, I see it as being backwords!!!! Hah oversexed....what does that mean??

Oh and the flower thing is way off too, I get flowers quite a bit from my b/f, and never question a thing, I am always happy with the fact that he thought enough about me to buy me flowers!!! I think some of your concepts are just a little off!!!

 

[QuickWrench]

I think some of your concepts are just a little off!!!

BBcutty's_grl, you're all of...18?

Just wait...you'll become the woman we're talking about. Trust me.

 

[BBcutty's_grl]

I just love the way that you can make decisions about people that you don't even know, I may only be 18, but what does that have to do with anything??? I have honestly never met a woman that acts anything like the ones that you guys are talking about, including my mom!! So where are you guys getting your information from anyway???

 

[kh440]

you have obviously never met my wife.......

 

[Buick From Hell]

Originally posted by BBcutty's_grl
I may only be 18, but what does that have to do with anything???

jus' a little thing called experience! But don't worry, time flies!

...and then one day you'll find
10 years have got behind
you, no one told you when to run--
you missed the starting gun...

(damn, I've missed the starting gun THREE times!)

 

[Little6pack]

It is too bad they all couldn't stay home like in the
JUNE CLEAVER DAYS!

My wife cares more about her part time job than our home. Seems lately the stuff around the house is lagging.
I told her if she quit I could make triple $$ what she makes.
Says she likes the social aspect of her job.

I hate to deal with women in the work force too.
They seem to be everywhere or when you call
a shop, service why they have women who know nothing answer the phones. In my mind I keep saying why in the hell can't I deal with a guy who is going to understand what I am saying.: