Divorce threads raise questions

[myclone]

Originally posted by dhjenkins
The perfect woman is the one that's perfect for YOU, and it all depends on what you want.

Just a couple tips from my experience:

A "10" (on looks) is usually a 5 in brains or personality and will turn you into a jealous doormat. Make no mistake - pretty girls KNOW they're pretty and will almost always be high maintenance.

Strippers are ALL crazy. ALL of them. Yes, even the ones "working for college money". They're great for sex, but in the name of all creatures big and small, do NOT get in a long term relationship with one.

You can't fit a square peg in a round hole. If you don't get along, you don't get along - it's as simple as that.

Avoid women that don't work - they don't know the value of a dollar and won't appreciate the crap YOU have to go through to earn it.

Recognize the difference between loving the person and loving the IDEA of loving the person; this is especially dangerous for people looking for a relationship.

There's a fine line between a woman who's refreshingly honest and a woman who's just a b*tch... Most of the time, that line has been crossed.

Crudeness in a woman is funny at first...but it gets really old really fast.

"She's not that bad" is not the same as "she's wonderful".

Would you "settle" for a 13.0 quarter mile if all you needed was a little more time and effort to get an 11.0? Then don't settle on your choice of mates.

If you do find someone wonderful, don't take them for granted.

Lastly, if you find yourself in a bad relationship, be a man, admit your mistake and move on before you no longer have the balls to.

And yes, I'm married and could not be happier.

Amen brother....

BTW, we had a local feed his wife to a wood chipper too. I had met her (before going through the chipper) through mutual friends and have to say I dont blame him one bit. Not only was she a professional hag in the worst way she thought everyone else was the problem.

Personally, I would have found a slower more painfull way to do her in but then again I couldnt stand her after 5 min around her the first time I met her so I sure as hell wouldnt have married her.

 

[kh440]

DHJenkins is especially right about the strippers. Had a really close friend of mine pretty much bankrupted and ruined by one. (Undisputable fact of life #18: NEVER trust a woman who makes a living by making her privates public)

If you really want to get a forecast of how your woman is going to be in the long term spend some time around her mother. If I had I would have said "I don't" My mother in law would make Ghandi say "bite me".
I understand what you're going through Pablo, I was 30 when I married, felt at the time that it was finally time. And quite frankly if I had it to do over again I can't say I would. But as far as your ex, sooner or later you both will remember why you split in the first place. I've heard of couples who reunited after some time who made it last the second time aroundm but that is usually the exception, not the rule.

 

[dhjenkins]

A really good personality test is to take a woman (or a man) to a restaurant you know has crappy service. How they treat that waitperson is a very good indicator of how they'll treat you when things aren't going their way.

 

[Hognose]

I would have to agree with a lot of people her about being friends. My wife is also my best friend. We have an open honest relationship. I am lucky in the sense that I can talk to her no different that I would my friends, weather it be checking out a hot chick, or farting, or checking out a Playboy. I have friends that act totally different around their spouses than they do me! If you have to put on a show or hide stuff it will cause problems.
The other big thing is trust. You have to trust each other. My wife and I went through a rough time early on about spending time and worrying aboout what was going on when we were apart. That stuff eats you up. We figured out that even if I am hanging out with my friend all day, I will still be coming home. I trust her if she goes out with her friends, I want her to have a good time.

It's funny that our relationship has changed over the past 11 years. We got together because she was a hot chick that she was into cars. She had an 88GTA and a 68 Camaro. Although she still loves cars it is low on her priority list. Our common intrests have changed yet our relationship is better than ever.


Anyway, sorry for rambling but I wanted to throw mt $.02 also, that I am happily married and love my wife.

Matthew

 

[NEAL BREW]

Originally posted by dhjenkins
The perfect woman is the one that's perfect for YOU, and it all depends on what you want.

Just a couple tips from my experience:

A "10" (on looks) is usually a 5 in brains or personality and will turn you into a jealous doormat. Make no mistake - pretty girls KNOW they're pretty and will almost always be high maintenance.

Strippers are ALL crazy. ALL of them. Yes, even the ones "working for college money". They're great for sex, but in the name of all creatures big and small, do NOT get in a long term relationship with one.

You can't fit a square peg in a round hole. If you don't get along, you don't get along - it's as simple as that.

Avoid women that don't work - they don't know the value of a dollar and won't appreciate the crap YOU have to go through to earn it.

Recognize the difference between loving the person and loving the IDEA of loving the person; this is especially dangerous for people looking for a relationship.

There's a fine line between a woman who's refreshingly honest and a woman who's just a b*tch... Most of the time, that line has been crossed.

Crudeness in a woman is funny at first...but it gets really old really fast.

"She's not that bad" is not the same as "she's wonderful".

Would you "settle" for a 13.0 quarter mile if all you needed was a little more time and effort to get an 11.0? Then don't settle on your choice of mates.

If you do find someone wonderful, don't take them for granted.

Lastly, if you find yourself in a bad relationship, be a man, admit your mistake and move on before you no longer have the balls to.

And yes, I'm married and could not be happier.

WOW!! This is some dead on advice. But At 25, dude, you should hold off. Just my opinion, everyone should wait untill you are thirty and financially secure. And Im not talking about just a good job. You should problaby have your own house and a car thats paid for. I felt like you and married at 27 and had a good job for a single dude. That job wasnt enough for a family(at least not my wife)Your young. Have fun for a few more years, you will wish you did later.

 

[SilverSleeper]

Im not married, but my friend just finally got rid of his ball and chain. Poor guy had the best of intentions, but it ended in a nasty divorce with kids involved.

My biggest piece of advice to you is to listen to what your family and friends tell you. Not the people that are just there once in awhile, but the good friends that have been around you a long time. The excitement of being in a relationship will blind you to a lot of things. His wife cheated on him, did a lot of things behind his back, and that was while they were only dating. But, he refused to listen to us. In moving for a job, he was away from her long enough to start thinking clearly, but not for long, because she managed to pull an "oops, I think Im pregnant" trip on him. He tried to make it work, but after a year he finally figured out what everyone was trying to tell him all along. Yeah, she was hot, and could act nice, but she really is a nutcase afterall!!!

You know, when I meet someone new, if I think I am going to have any kind of long term relationship with her, she meets my family and close friends early on. They know me pretty well, and I listen to their opinions and thoughts.
Its like buying a new car. You get all caught up in the excitement of buying something new and shiny that you leap before you look. You want to take someone with you when you car shop so that you have a voice of reason along with you.

 

[Pablo]

funny, i didnt mention the military part, but with my ex that was probably what was a big contributor to the breakup. I had a deployment scheduled for late July to the dirt and it seemed like she was really struggling with the concept going between an all or nothing type deal (like getting hitched before me leaving) or seemingly unsure over waiting for me

seemed as the time ticked down to the day I was supposed to leave the tension increased exponentially

then things ended
and then a couple weeks after that my deployment got cancelled

Now that I think about it, that was a really big part of it.

I want to stay in the military but it really does not seem compatible with having a family at all.

 

[Fakeyankee]

That's exactly what I was trying to say to ya Bud !!! Those M&M's( Marriage and Military ) are not candy coated. Sorry to say....but it's a hard life for both partys involved and it rarley works out to a happy ending. It really takes a special woman to understand and except the sacrifices that must be made. Like what was said above.....Listen to your friends and family, they really see more than you..... and pay attention to her family and how they are.....she was brought up with their way of thinking and attitude. Your young, so take your time. Marrying the wrong woman can be a life long regret....especially when children become involved later on. Hope this helps ya !!
Darrell