Favorite Christmas Cookies


May 25, 2001

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large
bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter
in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this
point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try
another cup ... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and
add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick
the frigging fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried
druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose
with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can
find. Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't
forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through
the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put
the stove in the dishwasher.