I still can't get over my ex-g/f

[d0n_3d]

About a month ago my girlfriend dumped me out of the clear blue...we had been together for 1.5 years and we did more things in that time span than most people do in 5 years...I am 20 and she is 18...we are both now going to colleges that are nearby each other...

basically I found out that the reason she dumped me was because she met some dude while seeing me still and in her mind this guy was "something new" and "different" rather than the old boring me and the same old relationship (this was her words)

we were each other's FIRST real true loves...but it's like she isn't showing as much emotion towards me right now like i am to her...i miss her so badly and it seems like she only misses me a little bit (maybe because this guy is taking me off her mind?)

now one month later she still keeps in contact with me, we occassionally talk on the phone or email...she keeps saying that this guy she is seeing isn't going to last because he is so far away and that he doesn't exactly compare to me...that he doesn't want to go to college and stuff...her parents and whole family love me to death and constantly bring me up around her...

should i take this girl back if she decides one day she wants to try again? i mean i understand the fact that things may get boring sometimes since you are with the same person for a long time...but she had no right to just dump me out of the blue like that, girls sure are stupid at this age...i still love her regardless of all this...i can't stop thinking about her...i am trying my hardest to find another girl to take my mind off her but it's just not working...what should i do? right now i am in idle mode which means i am making no decisions...if she decides to want to get back with me, fine...if another girl decides to give me a try, i am jumping all over it...

 

[CopGn]

She did you a favor by dumping you and showing her true colors. Never talk to her and if she comes begging back tell her nice try but you are not 2nd to no one. If you do take her back shame on you.

 

[qwic87gn]

Find yourself a new one. Trust me, if she can hurt you this badly at her age she will more than likely do it again, but it's much harder to take when you get older. Do yourself a favor and explore what else is out there. But nobody else can make the decision, only you can. You will live though. Theres always someone out there.

At our age they can come and go as quickly as our cars go through the 1/4.

Good luck to you.

 

[d0n_3d]

Originally posted by qwic87gn
At our age they can come and go as quickly as our cars go through the 1/4.

That's no sh!t

 

[irockwithdirt]

Sux to have to go thru this but really...... IF she found someone while she was still with you then she was obviously open to the thought of someone new. If that's the kind of relationship you are looking for go for it......but from reading your post I have to think not.
Any kind of realtionship is based on trust, without trust there can be no relationship. From what you say I think you'd have to be crazy to trust her. Don't torture yourself.
If you keep talking to her your just hurting yourself and empowering her. Make a clean break and know there are better things in your future

 

[AsphaltAnihil8r]

Originally posted by CopGn
She did you a favor by dumping you and showing her true colors. Never talk to her and if she comes begging back tell her nice try but you are not 2nd to no one. If you do take her back shame on you.

Well said!!!!

 

[Blwn87]

FEEL YA

I am right with you. I have had a relationship with a girl for almost a year and a half now. I am not trying to play the worlds smallest violin but i am thinking about tearing my hair out but i wont because i wouldnt know what to do with the mess. The major problem i was having is that she wants to be in a relationship while i am around but when she goes off to college i must understand that she is single. So it was easy for me to understand that she would be seeing other guys. So this summer we got back together. But one night we were partying and happened to find her in a dark remote corner of her house with another guy. Talk about uncontrollable rage, luckily i listen to heavy music so i just blared that as loud as i could at my house. So she goes off to college and says that she doesnt want to split up at all and wants to stay together. Well here is were things become very thick. It just happened that my 21st birthday was this past weekend and had planned to go visit a friend at college together. A day before i am ready to go she contacts me and says that she is going to feel uncomfortable being the only girl going and wants to bring a bunch of her friends, in which i have to slam in my car and drive 6 hours with. So i told her i wanted to go by myself if it was going to be that way. THIS IS MY 21st BIRTHDAY and NOT HER GIRLS WEEKEND OUT! So on thursday i leave and friday the 29th was my birthday. I didnt get a call or anything congrats on it being my birthday. All weekend i have had a fiend to talk to her and find out what is going on or just ignore her and let things be. So now back to what you are talking about. I have deep feelings for this girl but its hard to come to the realization that we need to move on. I am young like you and this is also my first real love. My father told me that relationships are very hard and i have learned a life long lession and the guys on this board have most likely gone through these times in their lives so i am also going to take their advice. Move on because chances are that she will do it again and you dont want to deal with the depression again. Another 2 cents for you that i thought up while going through the pains of a relationship. If your with a girlfriend and she has not said that its going to turn serious YOU MUST WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE and NOT NEED TO BE WITH SOMEONE. Good luck!

 

[Zero Tolerance]

Take her back if you want more heart ache.
You know what she is like, even if it is hard take.

 

[d0n_3d]

wow the count is 6-0 in favor of moving on! i am really starting to believe you guys...this bs is not worth it...i am too nice of a guy to be trampled on like this...damn straight i am second to NONE...i will tell her that too...that is a good phrase...she obviously didn't love me like i loved her...i can kick myself for being with her that long...sigh why does life have to be so hard all the time

 

[SloRegal]

Dude, Im going through the samething you are , just I have a kid with her. The best thing to do is move on, eventhough it hurts. Just find alot of FRIENDS NOT GF'S. Dont get serious with anyone yet. I go out alot of different girls now, and I never had this much fun than I was with my son's mom. thats what I did good luck

 

[DKREDT]

If she comes back to you nail her, then dump her. Worked for me when I was your age. Quite therapeutic!

 

[gndreamn]

man up bro

there's tons of women out there even if you think she is the greatest. I have found that in relationships that sometimes you have to show some "emotions" other times you have to have to do your own thing. In a situation like this i wouldn't show any hurt. Let her decide how much you are really worth weather is only going to be friendship or "back to the buble baths"
Come to Vegas I'll show you the light.

 

[kh440]

My late grandfather said it best: "A snake may change its skin, but that doesn't mean it's no longer a snake." Long and the short of it, cut all lines of communication and concentrate on whats really important. You are young and have a lot going for you-you can afford to be picky about women.

 

[d0n_3d]

Originally posted by DKREDT
If she comes back to you nail her, then dump her. Worked for me when I was your age. Quite therapeutic!

I kinda like that idea...

It's just so hard when it's your first real lover...she is an only child so she is very spoiled...even when it comes to our relationship...I bought her everything and anything she ever wanted...took her ANYWHERE...treated her like complete gold...she barely did anything for me...boy was I stupid...sigh I feel so...USED

yes i should not be getting serious at this age...it's a complete waste of time...i am going to date girls and just DATE...not getting serious no more...time to party...i turn 21 in a few months!

 

[turbosam6]

Dude, I've been exactly where you are. I know it hurts, especially when you're out with friends and they have their g/f's with them, or when you're alone and your mind wanders. When it happened to me, she came back later on. I was stupid and took her back. I think it showed weakness on my part, and it lets her know that she can do that and you'll be there when she feels like being with you. I broke it off with her, and she pulled the whole "I'm gonna kill myself" thing, but she didn't. When she came back, I could tell she felt like she "owned" me. Screw that. Move on. You're too young to deal with this, date and have a wild time. You have your whole life to settle down, but now is the time to live, party, date, and do all the things that young guys do. If you settle down now, you'll always wonder "what if", and feel like you missed out on the good times your friends will talk about later. They will be telling stories of crazy days and youthfull adventures, and you will feel like you missed part of life. I have friends who got married very early and dated very little, and I can tell they are unhappy. They all drink too much, and hate their wives. Like someone else said, hang out with friends, date around, be single. It helps to keep your mind off her. Soon you will forget about her, and the pain will go away, and you will be glad you did what you did. Good luck! Theres lots of friends to be made here, and elsewhere!

 

[black heat]

can't get over her...

Lots of good advise here, at least good intentions. What your ex-girl will soon realize for herself, is that its a jungle out there and she will soon be dropped also. Don't look back, look ahead.

Good luck, get back into what you were doing before this romance started.

 

[Chris Cornett]

You are only 20 years old and you are worried about this. The worst part is this will probrably happen to you again. Once you go to college you will forget about her trust me. There are more hot women in college than you can count. It is ruff going through this sort of thing for the first time. Don't sweat it man get on with your life and enjoy it.

 

[AirBuick]

Dude,
Always remember that in a relationship, the one that loves the LEAST is the one that controls the relationship! Simply put, this girl loved you least and you were willing to do all kinds of stuff for her. We've all been in relationships where you really didn't like the girl all that much and she was the one tryin' everything she could to please you.

Secondly, like Tom Lykus always says: Women are attention whores! Your girlfriend (ex) is worse because she is an only child and has gotten everything she wanted her whole life!

I'd let this one go as you're lookin' at a lifetime of runnin' yourself ragged just trying to please her.

In the short term, this hurts but start to live your life a little, buy more stuff for the Buick, do some traveling 'cause you won't always have those options when you get married and have kids!

Good luck to ya.

 

[Two Lane]

Originally posted by d0n_3d


basically I found out that the reason she dumped me was

because she met some dude while seeing me still and

in her mind this guy was "something new" and "different"

rather than the old boring me

and the same old relationship (this was her words)

she keeps saying that this guy she is seeing isn't going to last [/B]

I feel MUCH more compassion for the poor fool who is with her NOW...at least you know what she's capable of doing...he doesn't...YET!!

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!

HTH

 

[Pronto]

Concentrate on your college (as best you can,haha) and move on. There's plenty of time for you to find another girl, no need to take her back. When you met her 10 years from now and you have nice job and she has 3 kids and got fat you'll thank us.