Thought that this was pretty accurate.....
_
How many men does it take to open a cold drink?_
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it._
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?_
_
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will_
probably never be able to support you._
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?_
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to_
stand closer to the kitchen sink._
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?_
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."_
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How do you fix a woman's watch?_
You don't. There is a clock on the oven._
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Why do men break wind more than women?_
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required_
pressure._
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling_
at the front door, who do you let in first?_
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in._
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?_
A woman who won't do what she's told._
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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was_
Always._
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Why do men die before their wives?_
They want to._
-------------------------------------------------------------------_
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the_
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are_
sexy._
_
How many men does it take to open a cold drink?_
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it._
-------------------------------------------------------------------_
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?_
_
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will_
probably never be able to support you._
--------------------------------------------------------------------_
Why do women have smaller feet than men?_
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to_
stand closer to the kitchen sink._
-------------------------------------------------------------------_
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?_
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."_
-------------------------------------------------------------------_
How do you fix a woman's watch?_
You don't. There is a clock on the oven._
-------------------------------------------------------------------_
Why do men break wind more than women?_
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required_
pressure._
-------------------------------------------------------------------_
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling_
at the front door, who do you let in first?_
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in._
-------------------------------------------------------------------_
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?_
A woman who won't do what she's told._
-------------------------------------------------------------------_
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was_
Always._
-------------------------------------------------------------------_
Why do men die before their wives?_
They want to._
-------------------------------------------------------------------_
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the_
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are_
sexy._
