Post your lame jokes here! :)
- Thread starter GNflyby
- Start date
Welcome!
By registering with us, you'll be able to discuss, share and private message with other members of our community.
Turbo Indian
worlds quickest 6cyl bird
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2003
- Messages
- 3,493
how aboy a dirty joke
2 white horses fell in the mud
hey it says lame jokes
2 white horses fell in the mud
hey it says lame jokes
Turbo Indian
worlds quickest 6cyl bird
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2003
- Messages
- 3,493
why don't west virginia women like to use vibrators?
it chips there tooth
have you heard WV has a new form of birth control?
no more family reunions
I don't care who you are thats funny right there
it chips there tooth
have you heard WV has a new form of birth control?
no more family reunions
I don't care who you are thats funny right there
A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada
a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they
got on very well.
Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him
if he could arrange a divorce for him-"very quick."
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend
on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: Have you any grounds?
POLE: JA, JA, an acre and half and a nice little home
with 3 bedrooms.
LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded.
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE : "No," he replied, "We have a two-car carport and have
never really needed one."
LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations are in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set &DVD player
with 6.1 sound. We don't necessarily like the music,
but the answer to your questions is yes."
LAWYER: No, I mean Does your wife beat you up?
POLE: NO, I'm always up before her.
LAWYER: WHY do you want this divorce?
POLE: SHE going to kill me.
LAWYER: What makes you think that?
POLE: I got proof.
LAWYER: What kind of proof?
POLE: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drugstore
and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read -- it says,
"Polish Remover"
a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they
got on very well.
Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him
if he could arrange a divorce for him-"very quick."
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend
on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: Have you any grounds?
POLE: JA, JA, an acre and half and a nice little home
with 3 bedrooms.
LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded.
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE : "No," he replied, "We have a two-car carport and have
never really needed one."
LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations are in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set &DVD player
with 6.1 sound. We don't necessarily like the music,
but the answer to your questions is yes."
LAWYER: No, I mean Does your wife beat you up?
POLE: NO, I'm always up before her.
LAWYER: WHY do you want this divorce?
POLE: SHE going to kill me.
LAWYER: What makes you think that?
POLE: I got proof.
LAWYER: What kind of proof?
POLE: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drugstore
and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read -- it says,
"Polish Remover"
The Blob
Amorphous... totally
- Joined
- May 25, 2001
- Messages
- 9,021
A kid is out with his friends and comes home at 3am, well past his midnight curfew. His strict father is very upset. As the boy comes stumbling into the kitchen for breakfast his father is there to confront him.
"Son," he begins, "what time did you get home?"
"3am, sir" the boy replies.
"Now you know your curfew is midnight" his father bellows, "and unless you have a darn good excuse you're grounded for a month!"
"Well, dad," the boy meekly replies, "I do kind of have an excuse... last night I got laid for the first time."
His father, suddenly remembering what it was like to be young, softens as a smile crosses his face. He walks over to the boy and gives him one of those 'I'm proud of you' hugs.
He then pats the kid on the back and says "Shoot, son, I'm glad you told me. You're not grounded. In fact, if you want to go out and get laid again tonight, you have my permission."
The kid breathes a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Dad, but I don't think so. My butt's still a little sore."
"Son," he begins, "what time did you get home?"
"3am, sir" the boy replies.
"Now you know your curfew is midnight" his father bellows, "and unless you have a darn good excuse you're grounded for a month!"
"Well, dad," the boy meekly replies, "I do kind of have an excuse... last night I got laid for the first time."
His father, suddenly remembering what it was like to be young, softens as a smile crosses his face. He walks over to the boy and gives him one of those 'I'm proud of you' hugs.
He then pats the kid on the back and says "Shoot, son, I'm glad you told me. You're not grounded. In fact, if you want to go out and get laid again tonight, you have my permission."
The kid breathes a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Dad, but I don't think so. My butt's still a little sore."
Turbo Indian
worlds quickest 6cyl bird
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2003
- Messages
- 3,493
can't post it so I emailed it to you. it's not finished yet, about the only thing I'm lacking is converter, heads p&p,& fuel system, I'm seriously thinking about running propane instead of gasoline, I've been reading about high compression race mtrs. running it. also you dont have to worry about the carb starving for fuel when climbing a steep hill.
87grandnat
Active Member
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2003
- Messages
- 1,909
SinistrV6
can you post the pics?, id like to see it too.
can you post the pics?, id like to see it too.
charlloots
SMO-CUM
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2002
- Messages
- 712
guy tells his wife hes going golfing for the day.
he walks in the door that night with scratches all over his face,
the wife says what the hell happen to you?
the guy says to his wife i blew an eagle on the 18th
he walks in the door that night with scratches all over his face,
the wife says what the hell happen to you?
the guy says to his wife i blew an eagle on the 18th
BLACK6PACK
1 sec reaction King
- Joined
- May 24, 2001
- Messages
- 4,849
A dislexic walks into a bra
No jokes, just a couple limericks
There once was a man from Peru
He fell asleep shile in his canoe
While dreamin of Venus, he tickled his penis
And filled up his hand with goo
There once was a man from St. Clair
He was f**king his wife on a stair
The bannister broke, he doubled a stroke
And finished her off in mid-air
There once was a man from Peru
He fell asleep shile in his canoe
While dreamin of Venus, he tickled his penis
And filled up his hand with goo
There once was a man from St. Clair
He was f**king his wife on a stair
The bannister broke, he doubled a stroke
And finished her off in mid-air
How do catch a polar bear?
First you chop a hole in the ice roughly the size of a polar bear.
Then you open a can of peas and carefully place them around the outside of the hole.
When the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole!
A lumberjack from the Great Northwoods travels to New York City and steps into a bar for a drink. Upon sitting at the bar, he makes a boast about knowing the different types of wood that he encounters all day long. He gets the bartender to place a wager with him that while blindfolded, he can name any type of wood just by the smell of it. The bartender agrees to a friendly bet and blindfolds the lumberjack.
The barkeep places an empty wooden beer keg on the bar counter and asks the lumberjack if he knows what type of wood it is. The lumberjack leans closer to the keg and yells out "Oak"! Correct.
Next the barkeep pulls a baseball bat from under the bar and places it on the counter thinking for sure this will give him a tough time. "Ash", yells the lumberjack. Right again.
The bartender is amazed at the lumberjack's skill in guessing the correct trees that the items had come from. He thinks deep down to himself, he has to find something that will stump this guy.
The bartender then goes out into the back alley of the bar and entices a prostitute to come inside for a little fun. The bartender tells the prostitute to climb onto the bar and remove her undergarments. She then positioned her crotch near the lumberjack's nose. Perplexed, the lumberjack sniffs once, twice, pauses for a moment and yells....
"The sh*thouse door off of the tuna barge"!
First you chop a hole in the ice roughly the size of a polar bear.
Then you open a can of peas and carefully place them around the outside of the hole.
When the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole!
A lumberjack from the Great Northwoods travels to New York City and steps into a bar for a drink. Upon sitting at the bar, he makes a boast about knowing the different types of wood that he encounters all day long. He gets the bartender to place a wager with him that while blindfolded, he can name any type of wood just by the smell of it. The bartender agrees to a friendly bet and blindfolds the lumberjack.
The barkeep places an empty wooden beer keg on the bar counter and asks the lumberjack if he knows what type of wood it is. The lumberjack leans closer to the keg and yells out "Oak"! Correct.
Next the barkeep pulls a baseball bat from under the bar and places it on the counter thinking for sure this will give him a tough time. "Ash", yells the lumberjack. Right again.
The bartender is amazed at the lumberjack's skill in guessing the correct trees that the items had come from. He thinks deep down to himself, he has to find something that will stump this guy.
The bartender then goes out into the back alley of the bar and entices a prostitute to come inside for a little fun. The bartender tells the prostitute to climb onto the bar and remove her undergarments. She then positioned her crotch near the lumberjack's nose. Perplexed, the lumberjack sniffs once, twice, pauses for a moment and yells....
"The sh*thouse door off of the tuna barge"!
Turbo Indian
worlds quickest 6cyl bird
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2003
- Messages
- 3,493
done
what do you call a mexican in a GN?
grand theft auto
Similar threads
