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State trooper

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Otto J

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 31, 2001
Messages
10,546
>> A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette
>> convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road,
>> he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through
>> what little hair he had left.
>>
>> 'Amazing,' he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing
>> the pedal even more. But looking in his rear view mirror, he
>> saw a state trooper behind him, blue and red lights flashing
>> and siren blaring.
>>
>> He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he
>> thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and
>> pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
>>
>> Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the
>> Corvette, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift
>> ends in 30 minutes, plus today is Friday. If you can give me
>> a reason for speeding that I've never heard before,
>> I'll let you go.'
>>
>> The old gentleman paused then said, 'Three years ago,
>> my wi fe ran off with a Florida State-Trooper. I thought you
>> were bringing her back.'
>>
>> 'Have a good day, Sir,' replied the trooper.
>
 
How about this one. . . .

Just minutes before the church services started the towns people were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.

"Nope, sure ain't" said the man.

"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.

"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical agony forever?"

"Yep," was the calm reply.

"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.

"Nope."

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 45 years."
 
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