You can type here any text you want

Texas is ready to secede from the union

Welcome!

By registering with us, you'll be able to discuss, share and private message with other members of our community.

SignUp Now!

Captain Mark

New Member
Joined
Oct 28, 2002
Messages
2,051
Republic of Texas:

I thought you'd all get a kick out of this one - Texan or not (and Republican or not)....

Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the inauguration route, the folks from Texas have decided that we might just take matters into our own hands.

Here is our solution:

#1: Let John Kerry become President of the United States (all 49 states).

#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

NASA in Houston, Texas (we will control the space industry).

We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

Defense Industry (we have over 65% of it). The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning

Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.

Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....

Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc,Etc. The list goes on and on.

Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research,the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and other large health planning centers.

We have enough colleges to keep us going: U.T., Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway.

We have a ready supply of workers (just open the border when we need some more ) ..

We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers.

We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and vegetable produce and everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good.

Don't need any food.

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.



Signed, The People in Texas
God Bless America & God Bless our Troops
9-11-01 We will never forget!
 
Mark,
Great post and all truth to boot. I wanted to let you know you overlooked something. Texas is on it's own power grid!:D Don't need no stinkin' electrical support.
 
You damn Texans......:rolleyes:


Last time I went to TX, I was SO HAPPY when the smell of manure would once again become overwhelming because, at least something was happening! I've always said that Texans and Italians are the same in one respect......the first thing outta their mouth is 'I'm Texan', or 'I'm Italian'.;)
 
Years ago I worked with a crusty old fellow by the name of Bob Schiffhauer, rest his soul. Bob and I and several others travelled from New York to Switzerland to go over some equipment we'd purchased.

Anyway, all of us were at dinner, including 2 know-it-alls from Texas, who worked for Exxon, and who would own the equipment at the end of the day. The waitress, noting we spoke English and appeared to be Americans, asked if we were Americans.

Bob immediately piped up, "Yes, except those 2 - they're from Texas." I'm pretty sure everybody spit his food out, and started rolling on the floor.

In case you hadn't noticed, Texas isn't taken too seriously by the "other 49 states".

:D
 
The moral of the story is that TX is most definitely NOT ready to secede. They are, as illustrated above, perhaps the most capable as well as (last I heard) the only state legally able to......so why do they threaten it so often without ever actually doing it?
 
Originally posted by DCEPTCN
....so why do they threaten it so often without ever actually doing it?

We are not quite ready to see the fall of the other 49 states.

We are trying to prop this this thing (the US) up the best we can!

Moosie, it is written in the Texas constitution that we can secede from the United States. Texas was it's own republic at one time.
 
.....oh yeah, we may go ahead and take in New Mexico. that will give us somewhere close to go skiing!:D
 
Originally posted by Captain Mark
.....oh yeah, we may go ahead and take in New Mexico. that will give us somewhere close to go skiing!:D
...and get the $h!ts from green chile!:D
 
Originally posted by Captain Mark
We are not quite ready to see the fall of the other 49 states.

We are trying to prop this this thing (the US) up the best we can!

Moosie, it is written in the Texas constitution that we can secede from the United States. Texas was it's own republic at one time.
LOL Good one!
 
The list forgot to mention we make Yukons, Tahoes and Suburbans here so we don't even have to import any cars (just Pickups)
 
Texus should secede from the union, then we can invade them and throw Bush in the pokey..
 
Originally posted by We4ster
Texus should secede from the union, then we can invade them and throw Bush in the pokey..

Are you gonna field an army of angry actors and tree huggers to come kick our a$$!:D
 
NOPE,

We'll send our army of same-sex married couples and they will kick y'alls butts..
 
Originally posted by Captain Mark
Are you gonna field an army of angry actors and tree huggers to come kick our a$$!:D

hahahaha now THAT was funny and so true. Screw it I'm moving to Texas...:)
 
Back
Top