The Joke Thread, Post Your Jokes Here...

A man from West Virginia takes his 13 year old daughter to the doctor to aquire birth control for her. The doctor says your daughter is very young for birth control is she sexually active? The man replys no she just lays there like her mother. :)
golf joke.

4 friends are about to start a round of golf when the first guys suddenly stops, removes his hat, and waits til a passing funeral procession has passed and was out of sight. One of the other 3 guys tells the first, "U know that was really a respectful thing to do for that persons funeral". The first guy responds, "Yeah, its the least I could do, I was married to the B*tch for 40 years".
mhogan6 said:
Who invented copper wire???

Two Jews fighting over a penny.

My buddy Adam is jewish, he loves it when i tell him this joke...

Whats the object of a jewish football game???

To get the Quarterback :rolleyes:

Get it,.. the quarter back quarterback...LOL

why isnt there any mexicans on star trek

because they woundnt work in the future ether
im from AZ so i have alot of mexican friends that told me theses jokes

why arent there any mexicans in the olmpics

because the ones that can run, jump and swim are already over here
ok now for one about my own people

how do you know when an italian has a flat tire

it goes wop wop wop wop wop wop :biggrin:
heres another one on my people
why do italian boys grow mustashes

so the can look just like there mom
Little Billy had an under privaledged friend named Joey and he was so poor his bicycle didn't have a seat only the post the seat would go on. They were riding their bicycles to school and little Joey crashed and was hurt so Billy rode ahead to school to get help.

When he got to school he ran in to tell the teacher what had happened. He tells the teacher that Joey had crashed and the seat post had gone right up his A$$.

The teacher said Here Here we will not have language here. Used the term rectum.

Billy says Wrecked Him I think it Dayum near Killed him.

Three men are running from the police, 2 are american and one is a pollock. As they are running one of the guys says "We're never gonna outrun them, lets just hide!". They come upon some trees and decide to climb them to hide from the cops. A second later the cops come running up, and they pause to look around. "I know they are around here somewhere!" says one of the policemen. Just then one of the americans hiding in his tree slips and causes the tree to rustle. The cops look up, but can't see him in the dark. Thinking quickly, the american says "Caw, caw!". "I think its just a crow." says one of the cops, "but lets check these other 2 trees to see if they are up there." They go to the second tree, where the other american was hiding. They begin to inspect it, so he takes a cue from the first guy and says "Meow.". "Its just a cat up this one cheif" says one of the cops. They go to the third tree, and begin to check it out. Since it worked so well for the first two, the pollock tries an animal sound too. A moment later, the cops hear "MOOOOOOO!"
How many Northeast wienees does it take to:

Go out into the Nevada desert to find snakes and discover a nude man laying under cardboard?

Two, One to scream like a girl and the other to ..........Hey.... Where did he go?

Merritt and Otto , This one will be a Classic forever....ROFLMAO!

I never laughed so hard in my life. :D I still chuckle just thinking of you two coming flying back over the wall.

Thanks to Len at Perf Trans in Vegas. When he invited us over there for the day, ( which I thoroughly enjoyed meeting him and Lisa and his shop) I find it funny that he never mentioned he was also providing the entertainment.
You can buy that at a show in Vegas!!!! :p

WE4 admin
While walking through a park, a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.

Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?"

"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied.

"You gotta be kiddin' me."

"No, would you like to give it a try?"

Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..." So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it.

With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then stripped him naked and left.

Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, "What the heck happened to you?"

He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there.

When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said, "Sunshine, this just ain't gonna be your day..."
Bad azz lil johnny

Lil johnny sat on a park bench eating 3 candy bas and drinking 2 colas. An old man approached him and said "Son you shouldnt be eating all that junk your teeth are going to rot" lil jonny replied "my gran daddy lived to be 100" "by eating junk?" the old man inquired. "NO BY MINDING HIS F&$@kin BUSINESS"