A man from West Virginia takes his 13 year old daughter to the doctor to aquire birth control for her. The doctor says your daughter is very young for birth control is she sexually active? The man replys no she just lays there like her mother.
4 friends are about to start a round of golf when the first guys suddenly stops, removes his hat, and waits til a passing funeral procession has passed and was out of sight. One of the other 3 guys tells the first, "U know that was really a respectful thing to do for that persons funeral". The first guy responds, "Yeah, its the least I could do, I was married to the B*tch for 40 years".
Little Billy had an under privaledged friend named Joey and he was so poor his bicycle didn't have a seat only the post the seat would go on. They were riding their bicycles to school and little Joey crashed and was hurt so Billy rode ahead to school to get help.
When he got to school he ran in to tell the teacher what had happened. He tells the teacher that Joey had crashed and the seat post had gone right up his A$$.
The teacher said Here Here we will not have language here. Used the term rectum.
Billy says Wrecked Him I think it Dayum near Killed him.
Three men are running from the police, 2 are american and one is a pollock. As they are running one of the guys says "We're never gonna outrun them, lets just hide!". They come upon some trees and decide to climb them to hide from the cops. A second later the cops come running up, and they pause to look around. "I know they are around here somewhere!" says one of the policemen. Just then one of the americans hiding in his tree slips and causes the tree to rustle. The cops look up, but can't see him in the dark. Thinking quickly, the american says "Caw, caw!". "I think its just a crow." says one of the cops, "but lets check these other 2 trees to see if they are up there." They go to the second tree, where the other american was hiding. They begin to inspect it, so he takes a cue from the first guy and says "Meow.". "Its just a cat up this one cheif" says one of the cops. They go to the third tree, and begin to check it out. Since it worked so well for the first two, the pollock tries an animal sound too. A moment later, the cops hear "MOOOOOOO!"
Go out into the Nevada desert to find snakes and discover a nude man laying under cardboard?
Two, One to scream like a girl and the other to ..........Hey.... Where did he go?
Merritt and Otto , This one will be a Classic forever....ROFLMAO!
I never laughed so hard in my life. I still chuckle just thinking of you two coming flying back over the wall.
Thanks to Len at Perf Trans in Vegas. When he invited us over there for the day, ( which I thoroughly enjoyed meeting him and Lisa and his shop) I find it funny that he never mentioned he was also providing the entertainment.
You can buy that at a show in Vegas!!!!
Lil johnny sat on a park bench eating 3 candy bas and drinking 2 colas. An old man approached him and said "Son you shouldnt be eating all that junk your teeth are going to rot" lil jonny replied "my gran daddy lived to be 100" "by eating junk?" the old man inquired. "NO BY MINDING HIS F&$@kin BUSINESS"