Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You couldn't care less if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
Same work ... more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000; tux rental $100.
New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.
One mood, ALL the darnn time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me".
You don't mooch off other's desserts.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can do your nails with a pocket-knife.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You couldn't care less if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
Same work ... more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000; tux rental $100.
New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.
One mood, ALL the darnn time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me".
You don't mooch off other's desserts.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can do your nails with a pocket-knife.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
