Bruce Urie
The Ventures,CCR forever!
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2006
- Messages
- 3,254
This will not be easy for him....just be there for him.....it's going to be real tough with children involved.....this will be the most painful, heartbreaking, awful time ever for him.....it happens even to the best of us. Only time will help.....and there's no time limit to how long he'll feel this awful loss....each is different...
The only thing he should be very aware of is his wife could use the children as a powerful weapon against him..........this is the cruelest that could happen, so try to get him to get along with her as best as he can....when with his children, never, ever talk bad about their mother. No matter how upset, angry, sad he'll get, and believe me, he'll feel that way for quite some time...........I'm only speaking from my own experience and passing it along to him.
Even though the judge in my ex-wife and my case told us to not fight nor talk bad about each other throughout the relationship with our daughter, my ex did not follow that advice at all......so due to her atrocious using our daughter as a weapon against me, I only had 10 wonderful years with my daughter, never said anything bad about her mother......so I was able to focus all of my time and effort on raising my little girl the best I could........talk about a great time....I had her every other week, and two weeks during the summer.....it was great for me....a very proud dad I was.....I taught her how to ride a bike, roller skate, all about the forests and the living things in it, how to catch and hold snakes, to not be afraid...how to climb trees ....taught her how to play guitar, went sledding in the winter, coming home only when we got to cold.....I rocked her to sleep in my rocking chair, taught her fractions even before she was in first grade.......cooked for her, took her to nightclubs to hear my old band (she was the love of the whole place), went bowling together, and always took her to the playground when she wanted to go (I got down to her level in this case and did everything see did there, right behind her....believe me, that was an effort...those little children can run the socks off of an adult at the playground, but I wanted to be a big part of her life)
Even taught her how to identify all of the parts of the engine in my '69 Vette....my friends were so impressed when I was holding my daughter, pointed out a part of the engine, and she would identify it correctly every time, and see was only 4 years old then....she even got under the car with me to help me change the oil!
She always wanted me to play "Little Martha" on my guitar for her at bedtime, which I lovingly did, then read her Brother Grimm stories. She rewarded me with all kinds of little things she drew or made for me, even a big paper skeleton that I still have hanging in my garage.....so my ex hated this, accused me in court of every crime you could imagine! Even had the judge to order me to go to psychiatric evaluation for 6 months. Even accused me of taking cocaine, heroin, being violent, deranging my child's mind, even sleeping with her!!
Of course, all of this proved to be untrue thanks to the evaluation of six experts in the medical profession. So the judge let me have my little girl back......did no good...the bitch then moved to Appomatox Va, and I had to make the ONE WAY 5 1/2 hour trip every other weekend.....a total of 11 hours of driving on Friday, then 11 hours on Sunday to return her......which I did every other damn weekend. This pissed her off even further, so she got the judge down there to order another psychiatric evaluation not only for in Appomatox, but for my MOTHER, too!! And every Monday morning we were ordered to go at $100 each! So that would have been 22 hours driving one week, 44 hours the next......I couldn't do it, work would not let me take off all of that time, plus an extra $200 a week....on top of the $1000 a month in child support....my ex brainwashed my little girl so well that she will not have anything to do with me....even lied on her website as to where she was born: Appomatox, Va, (she was born on September 16, 1978, 5:47 PM at Alexandria Hospital, Alexandria, Va.) I haven't seen nor heard her voice since March 19, 1999, when she came up for a visit..(I found out later it was a reconnaissance mission sent by my ex)
My daughter was in the DC area just three weeks ago, and went over to see my dying Mother for 15 minutes. With her three kids. Her husband asked my brother `(who took over chores taking care of Mom for a little while) where do I live? Jim told him, and he said we are going down that area......but she didn't stop by, call, nothing.....nice daughter. Didn't even ASK my Mother, nor brother one thing about me, her Dad.
I never even knew she was married....I wasn't invited....I never knew she had three children until my brother told me three weeks ago.
So, tell your Uncle to rein in his emotions, control his thinking, and play it easy, but smart.....in cases like this, it can go very, very bad in a heartbeat......It can happen to any one of us....there are some very, very vicious women out there......he's got to take his time to get over this pain, then plot a solid straight line for himself first, in order to stay in his children's future.....trust me, I know.
Good to get this off my back......as for the above so called sob story, I deserved every bit of it, as I married the bitch, even after she told me she wasn't sure the child was mine when she was pregnant. (the child IS mine, though it wasn't known at the time) So that's how I found out my fiancé was cheating on me, BEFORE we were married! And even say I deserve it even more, she told me on our wedding night that she was $29,870 in debt! And in Virginia, back then, all debts in marriage is solely the husband's responsibility.....needless to say, I've never finished paying it all off, even working12 hours a day, 7 days a week for 11 months with a Defense Contractor.....my credit was ruined.....even now I'm only just getting good credit.....I spent years avoiding credit cards like a hot potato.
Don't boo hoo for me....I deserved this, but I'm sure your Uncle didn't.....let him read this, and then try to take it one day at a time.....If she hurt him this bad, she'll ALWAYS be capable of it......for my wonderful wife and I, LOVE IS LOYALTY, TRUST, AND PUTTNG THE OTHER AHEAD OF OURSELVES. After nine wonderful years of marriage to this great girl, it is still working like this.....trust me, there are so many women in this world who would go to hell and back for a guy like your Uncle.....this I didn't believe for a very long time myself. For about 20 years.......but this girl came into my life and totally changed it for the better. I've never been so happy with a woman in all of my little life than with my Shirley. Now if this dork can find happiness after two horrible marriages, so can your Uncle......we all have a right to be happy, but don't ever kill the chances to.
Home for a few days after taking care of Mom.......just made arrangements to have a queen adjustable bed to be delivered to her on Wednesday. My wife and I went down to pick it up today, but the thing is too heavy for me to lift (200 pounds) It's going to be so damn hard when I have to go back to Mom's to assemble this bed, as Mom can't walk, will never sit up again, will never walk again, so my brother and I HAVE to get her in a wheelchair to take her out in the living room in order for me to assemble this bed after taking out the old bed and frame.....I've got one hell of a bad back that will not stop hurting for anything. But, I don't let these things stop me from life's challenges, never! Don't let your Uncle, either.
Good luck with him, sir. Be there as much as you can. I'll say a prayer for him (they DO work lots of times)
PS: I had no idea how long this post was....I'm sorry, sometimes I just can't stop. Like letting off steam or something.
Bruce '87 Grand National
The only thing he should be very aware of is his wife could use the children as a powerful weapon against him..........this is the cruelest that could happen, so try to get him to get along with her as best as he can....when with his children, never, ever talk bad about their mother. No matter how upset, angry, sad he'll get, and believe me, he'll feel that way for quite some time...........I'm only speaking from my own experience and passing it along to him.
Even though the judge in my ex-wife and my case told us to not fight nor talk bad about each other throughout the relationship with our daughter, my ex did not follow that advice at all......so due to her atrocious using our daughter as a weapon against me, I only had 10 wonderful years with my daughter, never said anything bad about her mother......so I was able to focus all of my time and effort on raising my little girl the best I could........talk about a great time....I had her every other week, and two weeks during the summer.....it was great for me....a very proud dad I was.....I taught her how to ride a bike, roller skate, all about the forests and the living things in it, how to catch and hold snakes, to not be afraid...how to climb trees ....taught her how to play guitar, went sledding in the winter, coming home only when we got to cold.....I rocked her to sleep in my rocking chair, taught her fractions even before she was in first grade.......cooked for her, took her to nightclubs to hear my old band (she was the love of the whole place), went bowling together, and always took her to the playground when she wanted to go (I got down to her level in this case and did everything see did there, right behind her....believe me, that was an effort...those little children can run the socks off of an adult at the playground, but I wanted to be a big part of her life)
Even taught her how to identify all of the parts of the engine in my '69 Vette....my friends were so impressed when I was holding my daughter, pointed out a part of the engine, and she would identify it correctly every time, and see was only 4 years old then....she even got under the car with me to help me change the oil!
She always wanted me to play "Little Martha" on my guitar for her at bedtime, which I lovingly did, then read her Brother Grimm stories. She rewarded me with all kinds of little things she drew or made for me, even a big paper skeleton that I still have hanging in my garage.....so my ex hated this, accused me in court of every crime you could imagine! Even had the judge to order me to go to psychiatric evaluation for 6 months. Even accused me of taking cocaine, heroin, being violent, deranging my child's mind, even sleeping with her!!
Of course, all of this proved to be untrue thanks to the evaluation of six experts in the medical profession. So the judge let me have my little girl back......did no good...the bitch then moved to Appomatox Va, and I had to make the ONE WAY 5 1/2 hour trip every other weekend.....a total of 11 hours of driving on Friday, then 11 hours on Sunday to return her......which I did every other damn weekend. This pissed her off even further, so she got the judge down there to order another psychiatric evaluation not only for in Appomatox, but for my MOTHER, too!! And every Monday morning we were ordered to go at $100 each! So that would have been 22 hours driving one week, 44 hours the next......I couldn't do it, work would not let me take off all of that time, plus an extra $200 a week....on top of the $1000 a month in child support....my ex brainwashed my little girl so well that she will not have anything to do with me....even lied on her website as to where she was born: Appomatox, Va, (she was born on September 16, 1978, 5:47 PM at Alexandria Hospital, Alexandria, Va.) I haven't seen nor heard her voice since March 19, 1999, when she came up for a visit..(I found out later it was a reconnaissance mission sent by my ex)
My daughter was in the DC area just three weeks ago, and went over to see my dying Mother for 15 minutes. With her three kids. Her husband asked my brother `(who took over chores taking care of Mom for a little while) where do I live? Jim told him, and he said we are going down that area......but she didn't stop by, call, nothing.....nice daughter. Didn't even ASK my Mother, nor brother one thing about me, her Dad.
I never even knew she was married....I wasn't invited....I never knew she had three children until my brother told me three weeks ago.
So, tell your Uncle to rein in his emotions, control his thinking, and play it easy, but smart.....in cases like this, it can go very, very bad in a heartbeat......It can happen to any one of us....there are some very, very vicious women out there......he's got to take his time to get over this pain, then plot a solid straight line for himself first, in order to stay in his children's future.....trust me, I know.
Good to get this off my back......as for the above so called sob story, I deserved every bit of it, as I married the bitch, even after she told me she wasn't sure the child was mine when she was pregnant. (the child IS mine, though it wasn't known at the time) So that's how I found out my fiancé was cheating on me, BEFORE we were married! And even say I deserve it even more, she told me on our wedding night that she was $29,870 in debt! And in Virginia, back then, all debts in marriage is solely the husband's responsibility.....needless to say, I've never finished paying it all off, even working12 hours a day, 7 days a week for 11 months with a Defense Contractor.....my credit was ruined.....even now I'm only just getting good credit.....I spent years avoiding credit cards like a hot potato.
Don't boo hoo for me....I deserved this, but I'm sure your Uncle didn't.....let him read this, and then try to take it one day at a time.....If she hurt him this bad, she'll ALWAYS be capable of it......for my wonderful wife and I, LOVE IS LOYALTY, TRUST, AND PUTTNG THE OTHER AHEAD OF OURSELVES. After nine wonderful years of marriage to this great girl, it is still working like this.....trust me, there are so many women in this world who would go to hell and back for a guy like your Uncle.....this I didn't believe for a very long time myself. For about 20 years.......but this girl came into my life and totally changed it for the better. I've never been so happy with a woman in all of my little life than with my Shirley. Now if this dork can find happiness after two horrible marriages, so can your Uncle......we all have a right to be happy, but don't ever kill the chances to.
Home for a few days after taking care of Mom.......just made arrangements to have a queen adjustable bed to be delivered to her on Wednesday. My wife and I went down to pick it up today, but the thing is too heavy for me to lift (200 pounds) It's going to be so damn hard when I have to go back to Mom's to assemble this bed, as Mom can't walk, will never sit up again, will never walk again, so my brother and I HAVE to get her in a wheelchair to take her out in the living room in order for me to assemble this bed after taking out the old bed and frame.....I've got one hell of a bad back that will not stop hurting for anything. But, I don't let these things stop me from life's challenges, never! Don't let your Uncle, either.
Good luck with him, sir. Be there as much as you can. I'll say a prayer for him (they DO work lots of times)
PS: I had no idea how long this post was....I'm sorry, sometimes I just can't stop. Like letting off steam or something.
Bruce '87 Grand National
Not exactly the same thing Earl.
