funny phrases got any ?

[TurboJoe3.8]

Hotter than a gang laid whore.

More excited than a queer at a weiner roast.

Oh balls, said the queen, if I had a pair, I'd be king.

it's so cold that it'll Freeze the balls off a brass monkey

 

[PLAINWHITE T]

"You can't polish a turd"

 

[RIFF RAFF]

this one

i know a thing or two about a thing or two

 

[MeanBuicks]

He's one sandwich short of a picnic.

Sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the fire hydrant.

Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.

 

[captflash]

We're off like honeymoon pajamas!

 

[captflash]

One day the elevator, next day the shaft!

 

[captflash]

I've j#^ked off so much in the hot shower that when it starts to rain I get a h#rdon.

 

[IMCA67]

That'll go over like a turd in a punchbowl.

Happier than a pig in $hit.

Fold like a cheap lawn chair.

Friendlier than a pet coon.

Neater than a skeeter's peter.

Slicker than a whale dick.

Wound up like an 8 day clock.

Busier than a 3 legged cat covering up $hit on a frozen pond.


I could go on for days with this stuff.:smile:

 

[Dennis Kirban]

here is a few I use in business:

Concerning getting companies to deliver in a timely matter:

Will I see the parts in my lifetime?

Sometimes if you own a company you may be asked how many employees do you have?

Quick reply is "do you mean show up or total that actually work?"

Another good one is

If you are going to work for nothing come work for us.

Friend of mine works with his brother who is slow at doing things so his line is usually he is here to cast a shadow on the job.

denniskirban@yahoo.com

 

[Brad Zeidler]

A line one of my buddies would say when I was in the Army---Honey, I love you so much I'd low crawl through 5 miles of broken glass just to lick the dick of the dog that pissed on the tire of the truck that took your panties to the laundromat!

 

[Rafs-T-Type]

She was good from far, but far from good

I went to bed at 2 with a ten and woke up at ten with a 2

 

[101prf]

Butterface

She is a butterface... everything is perfect But Her face

 

[regan j]

A beautiful women is only a light switch away.

 

[PLAINWHITE T]

"You can $hit on me, but I 'aint gonna let you rub it in!"

 

[geno]

When you fart its:
Some a hole is talking **** about you behind your back again

 

[RBC]

Hotter than a four-balled tom cat!

Slicker than snot on a door knob!

 

[Turbo Indian]

Does a bear **** in the woods?

I always use... does a bear shi* in a garbage dump? your darn skippy they ones that live in the dump do.

I also like it when the wife & I are at the cash register, she'll ask me should I use cash or debit. I say... if you don't use the cash now, we'll just use it for hookers & beer later! you should see the look on the cashiers face when the wife says I better use the debit card then.

 

[JP112_89]

He shaking like a queer eating a hot dog.


When a girl says "you know you want me" , you reply " There is many fish in the sea, why would I want to eat carp?.




Joe

 

[TWISTER]

Im Michigan where it always seems to snow I use. You'll be a$$hole deep in snow before its over.

 

[tom robison]

You could mess her up with a handful of shiny change and I'd like to get up in her gutz.