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My trip to Costco

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injdinjn

Active Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2006
Messages
4,358
Yesterday, I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Dexter(the Wonder Dog) and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well, and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass, and a car hit both of us.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack because he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
 
Old one but a GOOD one... the joke that is. :D
I have been waiting for the opportunity to use it but no one will ask.
 
LMAO...good one! I'm tempted to go buy dog food now...and I really don't have a dog (or any interest in starting that diet BTW). lol
 
X3 I'll see if I can find the one about the Wal Mart trip. You'll fall over laughing so hard.
 
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