Son devastated by soccer coach

[88 CuttyClassic]

I had more fun and enjoyment during practices than i did during games. When i had a problem with one of my coaches i'd call them out on it. maybe if your boy showed the coach how much he cared enought to speak up he might give him a shot.

 

[Nick McCardle]

Tell your son to suck it up and get over it. If he's a Senior it's about time for him to learn how to be a man about things. Don't interfere, that'll only make it worse.

 

[TRBON8R]

Originally posted by FlyinGN
This is the reason my Son will NEVER play sports.

Frank I would rethink that one if I were you. I was a baseball player through Junior College. I know the heartache and the disappointment that can result from failing to meet my goals and aspirations. There isn't a day that I wake up that I don't think about what might have happened if I was just a LITTLE bit better. Although the disappointment of not making it to the big leagues will always be in the back of my mind, I am a better person for having experienced the comraderie of my teammates and learning how to compete and push myself to the limit. As tough as it is for us to accept isn't disappiontment an important lesson that we all need to learn in life and find a way to deal with and overcome?

 

[Rollin]

A good coach will always bring out the best in his players and on the same token the best players will play. A good coach will also realize that competition should not always be the opposition but within the teams structure. Meaning the job/position is not secured by presence, only by performance, and even then not secured as one player can always challenge if he or she thinks she is better suited. Good coaches are hard to find. I agree with Raven in his analogy. Team athletics are just that, being part of the Team. I went thru this last year with my son on the Jr high Football team. He gave 110% but was not looked at as the coachs played favorites trying to recapture the championship of the previous years team. It was not until mid way thru the season when my sons determination and hard work started to pay off, first on special teams then to starting defense. He is at the HS level this year and his hard work this summer has garnered him a good look on defense unusual for a 9th grader By watching them practice he has good coaches this year. There are alot of coaches out there, some good, some bad. I've experienced both from the PeeWee football leagues to the HS level then on to College ball. It all comes out in the wash, if you have a bad coach their leadership always comes under suspicion first from the players via deceit and dissention then to the public (whats really sad about it is that by the time people realize this the seasons almost over and those overlooked missed out on playing time). The good ones are nine times out of ten successful and the players will be the first to show respect and admiration, that's a true team experience. Your son should give it his best, and you should let him, do not interfere(thats not to say he can't talk about his situation to them) and no matter what stand behind him.

 

[CaPPY]

Coaching can be very subjective. I played for a coach who only spent time and kissed butt with the most gifted/talented players (American Legion Baseball). One player, for sure, is in the Baseball Hall of Fame. Some of the players he ignored (just OK in his mind), ended up with college scholarships, and two of the others made it to the Bigs. He made some errors.

I was in one job where I was fired (subjective boss). I then went to a competitor in the same town, took over $100,000.00 worth of business with me (1970's) and almost ruined the business that fired me. (It was only a FOUR hour job). Obviously, the creep that fired me made a wrong business decision. He was later fired, by the owner, because of his blunder.

My son has been working (entertainment) since he was NINE. He's now in college. Some employers think he's a big deal, etc. Others, won't hire him because of his look, color of hair, non-freckles, not street enought, doesn't look like Emenem, blah-blah, whatever. That's really subjective, 'cause the next week he can be hired by someone who wants exactly what he brings out on an audition. Talk about subjectivity. He's been turned down for work (literally) HUNDREDS OF TIMES, and in his business is considered successful. It really brings out a person's character to be turned down that many times and keep fighting back. Tell your son not to give up (like others have said). But in the same breath realize the coach could be wrong.

You only hope that the coach, boss, casting agent, etc., is GOOD and Fair. It doesn't always happen.

I think it's a parents job to guide their kids, at least through high school, and make sure that whoever is laying the smack down on your kids is doing his or her IMPARTIAL job. IMO, regardless of how intelligent, kids really don't start putting things together until they get out of high school...in some cases wayyyyyyy later. Give 'em help if you think it's called for.

Coaches, bosses, doctors, attorneys, people in power, shouldn't be accepted as necessarily being in the right, just because of the position they hold.

Bill Gates even said, "Life isn't fair." Maybe he should have added, "It's SUBJECTIVE...that's why it isn't fair."

 

[Pronto]

My sons feeling better today. He even wore his HS warmup jacket with his number on it when we went out for ice cream. We ran into a guy that had a kid that played soccer on my son's team 8 years ago but quit playing. The guy works for the local newspaper and congratulated my son on the teams first game. So he's determined now to practice hard and get whatever play time he can. He's very used to playing the whole 90 minutes and usually comes on strongest in the second half. Only playing a few minutes will not allow him to get into his groove so whatever position he plays is going to be tough.

 

[Dan K]

Having been through something really similiar I've got to speak my mind here...
Your son is too young to be worried about his ego, tell him to swallow his pride and be a man. Life isn't always fair.
And you need to stop making excuses and whining about the whole thing. You aren't the coach and you won't sway his opinion at all. You'd just make things worse.
Life's a bitch, but it sounds like your son is going to do what it takes to make the best out of it.

Don't get involved like my dad did, he honestly ruined any chance I had and the frustration of what he did was too much to take and I ended up quiting. Worst decision I've ever made.

 

[OneQuikV6]

...anyone here seen "Varsity Blues?"

 

[Drew L]

Looks like solid advice mostly going down the same road. Sports can define the parent as well as the child. This is fool proof advice...........follow it and you can't go wrong. Following your 1st thoughts on this matter will end in disasterous results. IMHO again. Thanks. Drew

 

[streetmonsta]

If I were you i wouldn't say anything to the coach. Your son is old enough to ask him himself. If your son goes on to college next year and has a problem with a professor or his soccer coach there are you going to go to college and talk to them too? Your son should continue to go to practice, work his butt off and set an example. If he works that hard as a senior getting no playing time then the younger kids should be working twice as hard. Quitting won't do him any good. I don't know if he plans to go on to college but if he does being on the soccer team looks good on applications. They have no idea how much he played. Then he can make the team in college.

 

[Bens87tr]

Originally posted by Pronto
I hope this SOB dies a long painful death.

A little harsh there. Chill out. Besides it's soccer. Who cares?

 

[88 CuttyClassic]

Re: Re: Son devastated by soccer coach

Originally posted by Bens87tr
Besides it's soccer. Who cares?

that was my toughts but people don't like what i tell them what i think of soccer.

Anyway, tell your son to watch RUDY a few times and see if he still thinks his situation blows.

Someone mentioned American Legion baseball. Well i played baseball in my community all the way up through legion ball. The year i played legion the coach was from one neighborhood over from mine. He was jewish and so is a majority of the people that live in his neighborhood. All the kids that came from his neighborhood started, and i found out that all their dads were in good with him and that they were all jewish. What pissed me off is the assitant coach was from my hood and he knew all of us and how we developed since we were little and all that went out the window because of religion and politics. the higher you go in athletics the more you need people that will break their back for you because of politics. Skill will take you so far unless you are the rarest of breeds, For the record the first game of that legion season i sat the bench the whole game until the last inning. We were losing 17-0 and there was two outs and the bases were loaded. He then decides to pinch hit me. I, not wanting my team to get shut out, cleared the bases with a triple. I slid into third and the first thing i say to the coach is "so how about letting me start next game" he says to me " why don't you save that for games that still count". Sometimes you'll never win. I was also criticized by him for diving for a ball in practice. there's a reason high school coaches are just that, HIGH SCHOOL coaches.