was it worth it
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83turbomon
Starvin Like Marvin...
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2009
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You are talking to a ESFJ (google it if you dont know what it means) and someone who is often talked to about this sort of thing. Sometimes (in my opinon) people fall in love too fast and dont really have the emotional or verbal connection to talk about each other which can lead to a strained love relationship... give it more time... or take a break and see what happens. Let true love do its own thing. If it wasnt meant to be it wasnt meant to be. but most importantly be with someone that makes you happy and you will happy for life! :biggrin:
(hope it helped if not dont hate too hard
)
(hope it helped if not dont hate too hard
)Love isn't something that just happens. Fire has to be fed or it goes out.
You did not feed the fire.
You are going to relight the fire with someone after leave your wife.
Why not save all the heartache and money, just relight the fire with your wife.
Every day for 30 days buy one flower and place it on her pillow with a note (they give you the little card for free) that says "I love you".
Next "don't argue" especially over things that have no effect on the future.
You won't want a divorce after 30 days.
Mikey
You did not feed the fire.
You are going to relight the fire with someone after leave your wife.
Why not save all the heartache and money, just relight the fire with your wife.
Every day for 30 days buy one flower and place it on her pillow with a note (they give you the little card for free) that says "I love you".
Next "don't argue" especially over things that have no effect on the future.
You won't want a divorce after 30 days.
Mikey
Raymond Bunch
"Turbo Enthusiast"
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- Mar 20, 2002
- Messages
- 3,455
I agree, FIREPROOF is the bomb!:smile:
Phoneguy
Cometic HG stress tester
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2002
- Messages
- 6,888
Divorces are ugly at best.
Do some serious soul searching as to what the real problem is. Do what you can to save your marriage. It is sometimes hard to admit that you are at fault but believe me if you seriously give it consideration you will find fault with yourself. Do what you can to change what you feel is wrong. If you give your all and still feel the need for a divorce at least you tried.
Take this advice from a man that got a divorce after 19.5 years and have been re-married to my ex-wife for 4. Our marriage is much better now than it was for along time. Communication is key!!
Hope this helps.
Bryan
Do some serious soul searching as to what the real problem is. Do what you can to save your marriage. It is sometimes hard to admit that you are at fault but believe me if you seriously give it consideration you will find fault with yourself. Do what you can to change what you feel is wrong. If you give your all and still feel the need for a divorce at least you tried.
Take this advice from a man that got a divorce after 19.5 years and have been re-married to my ex-wife for 4. Our marriage is much better now than it was for along time. Communication is key!!
Hope this helps.
Bryan
turboc87gn
Darkside in Detroit
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2008
- Messages
- 2,766
Its cheaper to keep her.....Do what my dads buddy did instead of gettin divorced he bought the house across the street so he can have his buddies over without disturbing the wife and kids and use the garage and instead of fightin and arguin he sleeps over there and revisits the issue the next day...
Phoneguy
Cometic HG stress tester
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2002
- Messages
- 6,888
Priceless!!!
divorce
don't know the circumstances but i'd rather have alittle less money in my pocket and happy then married and miserable. you have a long road ahead of you and your not the 1st to go through anything. So relax and hope it will all fall into place. i have 2 X's and pay almost 900 a month in childsupport. sure i'm 900 in the hole every month but i dont have a beotch of a wife to tell me anything.
don't know the circumstances but i'd rather have alittle less money in my pocket and happy then married and miserable. you have a long road ahead of you and your not the 1st to go through anything. So relax and hope it will all fall into place. i have 2 X's and pay almost 900 a month in childsupport. sure i'm 900 in the hole every month but i dont have a beotch of a wife to tell me anything.
V8Assassin
100mi away ready 2 strike
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2007
- Messages
- 5,010
Are there kids involved, I only ask cause that will complicate the matter greatly if there are. I have been divorced once, best thing that ever happened to my life. If not for it, I would be stuck in a loveless marriage and would have never met my current wife or had my sons, or the daughter to be born next week!!
There can be plenty of things going on that you don't want to discuss here that will affect your decision. My ex and I truly didn't like each other, only got married cause it was right after college and it seemed like the thing to do. Even fought on the honeymoon
Here's my advice, if you are going to get a divorce you have to make your mind up and commit to that path. Once you go that direction there is no going back and no making up. My divorce lawyer told me the first day in his office, "son, you won't make any friends in a divorce". He was right, whatever love you may have had will dissappear quickly once it begins. Financially speaking, it will depend on length of marriage, here over 10 years constitutes a "long standing marriage" and alimony becomes an issue. Under 10 years and there is no alimony, child support is a different thing, like I said earlier, kids will complicate things (I didn't have any with my ex-wife). Find out what your particular state laws are, is it a community property state (this is a big one), if it's not then there is no 50/50 rule. Here, equity in equals equity out, in other words you may have to sell the house, but you get to recover your downpayment before the rest is split.
In the end it is a decision only you can make. Life is too short to be miserable. Make a desicion and stick to it. There is no middle in a divorce, it's either one direction or the other. If you decide to work it out, give it everything you have, love her like there is no tommorrow. If you decide to divorce her, RUN, don't walk, don't pass go, don't collect two hundred dollars, just get a great lawyer and get out.
There can be plenty of things going on that you don't want to discuss here that will affect your decision. My ex and I truly didn't like each other, only got married cause it was right after college and it seemed like the thing to do. Even fought on the honeymoon
Here's my advice, if you are going to get a divorce you have to make your mind up and commit to that path. Once you go that direction there is no going back and no making up. My divorce lawyer told me the first day in his office, "son, you won't make any friends in a divorce". He was right, whatever love you may have had will dissappear quickly once it begins. Financially speaking, it will depend on length of marriage, here over 10 years constitutes a "long standing marriage" and alimony becomes an issue. Under 10 years and there is no alimony, child support is a different thing, like I said earlier, kids will complicate things (I didn't have any with my ex-wife). Find out what your particular state laws are, is it a community property state (this is a big one), if it's not then there is no 50/50 rule. Here, equity in equals equity out, in other words you may have to sell the house, but you get to recover your downpayment before the rest is split.
In the end it is a decision only you can make. Life is too short to be miserable. Make a desicion and stick to it. There is no middle in a divorce, it's either one direction or the other. If you decide to work it out, give it everything you have, love her like there is no tommorrow. If you decide to divorce her, RUN, don't walk, don't pass go, don't collect two hundred dollars, just get a great lawyer and get out.
another thing
if your a guy who knows how to do things you can always look for programs for helping low income of just plain help. sure you won't make any freinds in a divorce. don't try to be her freind it just won't happen. for me i'm cordial to my X's just don't ever put your hands on her and you should be ok if you moveo forward towards a divorce. if you have a standing agreement and she's ok then the divorce papers are available in any law library and can be copied. filing and everthing else will just add costs to any divorce. it really depends on the situation none are the same. check your options and if you have enough cash to handle it then you should be fine. keep your head up and make smart decisions. think it through, hope things work out and good luck.
if your a guy who knows how to do things you can always look for programs for helping low income of just plain help. sure you won't make any freinds in a divorce. don't try to be her freind it just won't happen. for me i'm cordial to my X's just don't ever put your hands on her and you should be ok if you moveo forward towards a divorce. if you have a standing agreement and she's ok then the divorce papers are available in any law library and can be copied. filing and everthing else will just add costs to any divorce. it really depends on the situation none are the same. check your options and if you have enough cash to handle it then you should be fine. keep your head up and make smart decisions. think it through, hope things work out and good luck.
turboc87gn
Darkside in Detroit
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2008
- Messages
- 2,766
Research ur laws in your state and also talk to guys who have done it you got a 50/50 shot if you got kids and dont research it first youu can kiss youur a$$ goodbye..I know way more guys that got divorced and never recovered than guys that were happy with the results..if you arent careful you could end up like my buuddy he pays 150 per week per kid for 2 kids (1200 a month) in child support + alimony + he had to pay all the bills at the house (that she was awarded) and car payment for the first year since she was a "homemaker" and didnt work ..He kept his cars,guns $8000 in the bank which was frozen until child support confirmed he was makin payments..Also child support back dated to start from the day he left so by the time he paid the arrearage and the piss a$$ lawyer he had out of the 8 grand there was barely enough there for him to move into an apt... If that is happiness then id hate to see miserable DONT GET MARRIED TILL UR SURE UR READY..AND DONT GET DIVORCED UNLESS UR READY TO RIDE THE BULL!!! P.S. Youll find out who your friends are too..some will tell her all your buisness just cause they think they can get with her...or think they can get a piece of a$$ while shes emotionally messed up..TRUST NOONE GOOD LUCK!!!!
If that is happiness then id hate to see miserable DONT GET MARRIED TILL UR SURE UR READY..AND DONT GET DIVORCED UNLESS UR READY TO RIDE THE BULL!!! P.S. Youll find out who your friends are too..some will tell her all your buisness just cause they think they can get with her...or think they can get a piece of a$$ while shes emotionally messed up..TRUST NOONE GOOD LUCK!!!!gnbooster87
its only a six
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2004
- Messages
- 882
best advise i was ever given, "its cheaper to keep her"
TURBOTWIN2
ASE CMAT L1
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2005
- Messages
- 1,997
You know why divorces are expensive?
Cause they're WORTH it!
...Willie Nelson
Cause they're WORTH it!
...Willie Nelson
Little6pack
Active Member
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2002
- Messages
- 11,676
If I could I would love to be single again.. the problem is divorce is too expensive in my case. it would mean living in my T or with my mom & those are not appealing options.
88 CuttyClassic
The Enviromental Hitman
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2001
- Messages
- 2,668
you cant know where your going until you know where u been... dont dwell on the past mistakes with her but learn from them. Start each day with a clean slate especially after a fight...more than likely the fights start over petty stuff and everything else you or her ever did wrong gets dragged into it... most importantly.. use common sense!
