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what the heck is this noise???

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I'm amazed that noise is hard to find. Just to make sure I'd start it with the belt off, if it still makes the noise do a visual inspection on the rocker shafts to see if one is broken....

...then I'd put a dial indicator on all the pushrods and make sure you still have 12 full sized cam lobes. My money is on a flat cam.

Comp gave you two pieces of bad advice that was flat out wrong. First is pushrod length, the only way to get that right is to measure With any luck, yours are too short and that's an easy fix (have you measured preload?) The other is springs. It's not possible for a guy on the phone to say your springs are 'right'. The only way to know is to measure them. If they're stock springs, they're too weak for a stock cam. A bigger lobe will just make it worse.
 
What's funny is that sounds exactly like my 99 Buick Century beater car. I've been driving it 10k miles like that because I really don't care. I'm convinced others think I don't have insurance because no one comes near it. I'm pretty sure mine is something in the valve train. Lifter is my guess.
 
Interesting. Glad you found it.
 
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