Abbot & Costello Meet the PC World

THE CROW

Member
Joined
May 25, 2001
ABBOT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den,
and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the names Lou.
ABBOT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my names Lou.
ABBOT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in
the windows?
ABBOT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer
and software.
ABBOT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend
anything?
ABBOT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOT: Yes
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, let's just say,
I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOT: The Word you get when you click the blue w.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't
start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the
Internet?
ABBOT: Yes, you want RealOne.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I
watch is none of your business. just tell me what I need!
ABBOT: RealOne.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reels 2, 3 & 4. Can I
watch them?
ABBOT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great, with what?
ABBOT: RealOne.
COSTELLO; OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a
movie. What do I do?
ABBOT: You click the blue 1.
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOT: The blue 1.
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOT: The blue 1 is RealOne and the blue w is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in office for windows!
ABBOT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in
the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty
much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOT: RealOne has nothing to do with Word. RealOne
isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about
financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?
How much?
ABBOT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOT: Why not, they own it.
 
It's interesting to think what Abbott and Costello would be doing today if they were still around and in their primes.
 
Originally posted by THE CROW
COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about
financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?
How much?
ABBOT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOT: Why not, they own it.

I love that part!:D
 
They, or humor like classic Don Rickles, wouldnt exist today. The PC police only will allow typecasting of rednecks.
Maybe that shows the rednecks are tough-to be able to take it without crying about it.
 
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