Bad News everyone, I hate to do this

[t3intercooled]

Hey guys, for those who read this thanks for letting me vent....My fiance found out today that she now has to shell out 400 dollars a month in child support to her sons father which is gonna leave us so broke that we cannot afford our bills or food as it is, so with that said I am gonna be forced to sell my GN as well as my other 2 cars. It is extremely heartbreaking I have an attachment to that car as some of you I'm sure do to your own. Just been upset all day and now that I am home am loading up on beer. Thanks to all who read this and again thanks to any who reply.....

 

[John Larkin]

So sorry to hear of your bad news. However once the shock subsides, you two should seriously consider some sort of debt consolidation and, as respectfully as possible, a pre-nup. Love is a strong emotion but be wise. If you trust your father and are able to, talk to him, really.

 

[Gary Wells]

Brandon:
I also am sorry to hear of your misfortune, and I do not want to add to your grief, but are you sure that you know all that you need to know about this turn of events? I wish you good luck on this Brandon. You may not be so inclined, but if it was me instead of you, I would be interested in seeing the court decree and when payments were to start, and whether any payments had already been made.

 

[klrv6]

Sorry man.


How is it that she has to pay? Just curious because I have only heard of one case where the mother didn't get custody of her child.


As far as selling the cars, part-time work or sell them off slowly, one at a time.

 

[Pablo]

call me an A-hole, but I don't see how your fiance's debts should affect you in any way. You are 23 and you aren't even married for God's sakes. You should be living in a bachelor pad with a few other dudes as roommates, working on cars, and working on making money.

I'm not sympathetic to people that go out of their way to get themselves into bad situations. You sound like one of these people.

 

[jdpolzin]

$400????? Damn, I wish mine was only $400. I have to pay $660 a month and my ex has a great job and makes very good money.

 

[t3intercooled]

Sorry man.


How is it that she has to pay? Just curious because I have only heard of one case where the mother didn't get custody of her child.


As far as selling the cars, part-time work or sell them off slowly, one at a time.

Long story short....the father was on disability, the mother was working a day job, father refused to pay daycare, my fiance had to take on a part time job at a bar to pay for daycare. The fathers family was all within 10 minutes of the father and since she couldn't pay a babysitter, the father took the child on the nights she had to work to pay for daycare. When customdy time came around as to who would have him for kindergarten the judge said it would be to tramatic since the dad's family was more close to him and since the father had him more, it was ruled that the father have custody. My fiance got limited visition....I HATE THE LEGAL SYSTEM.

 

[t3intercooled]

call me an A-hole, but I don't see how your fiance's debts should affect you in any way. You are 23 and you aren't even married for God's sakes. You should be living in a bachelor pad with a few other dudes as roommates, working on cars, and working on making money.

I'm not sympathetic to people that go out of their way to get themselves into bad situations. You sound like one of these people.[/QUOTE


I am the one with all the debt, her name is on the mortgage only. but even though she makes more and her money goes twoards my bills and hers they can't take my income nor my bills into account. Her and I bought a house may of 07 and even if we wanted to sell it and move into an apartment, with the market are house was appraised at 12000 less than what we bought it for.....sigh.

 

[Ttype83]

So sorry to hear of your bad news. However once the shock subsides, you two should seriously consider some sort of debt consolidation and, as respectfully as possible, a pre-nup. Love is a strong emotion but be wise. If you trust your father and are able to, talk to him, really.

Very good advise.

Brandon:
I also am sorry to hear of your misfortune, and I do not want to add to your grief, but are you sure that you know all that you need to know about this turn of events? I wish you good luck on this Brandon. You may not be so inclined, but if it was me instead of you, I would be interested in seeing the court decree and when payments were to start, and whether any payments had already been made.

I was thinking the same thing

Sorry man.


How is it that she has to pay? Just curious because I have only heard of one case where the mother didn't get custody of her child.


As far as selling the cars, part-time work or sell them off slowly, one at a time.

A very sh!tty lawyer

call me an A-hole, but I don't see how your fiance's debts should affect you in any way. You are 23 and you aren't even married for God's sakes. You should be living in a bachelor pad with a few other dudes as roommates, working on cars, and working on making money.

I'm not sympathetic to people that go out of their way to get themselves into bad situations. You sound like one of these people.

This is nicer than what I would say...you're 23... Dump her and keep your cars or most of them anyways.

 

[hiboom]

Dump the chick easier to replace then the cars, love is blind.Way to many problems for a young man of your age to deal with.I once lost a 10 car collection when I seperated later split up. took 15 years to get those can never replace them in this lifetime.If your dealing with all this now what's it going to be like later your own kids ect.It never gets If it starts with problems it ends with problems

 

[87GN_ponykillr]

call me an A-hole, but I don't see how your fiance's debts should affect you in any way. You are 23 and you aren't even married for God's sakes. You should be living in a bachelor pad with a few other dudes as roommates, working on cars, and working on making money.

I'm not sympathetic to people that go out of their way to get themselves into bad situations. You sound like one of these people.

I agree 100% with Pablo. LIVE life!!!! You are only young once! Why start the headaches early? The will come soon enough!

 

[Grumpy]

wow... ya you only live once !! your only young once to.. So if your the one with all the debt I would say you better start cleaning it up OR you just get in deeper and deeper.. YES I did the same thing a few times with cars so I am speaking from experiance.. plus I am old to

 

[Chuck Leeper]

I'm with Pablo on this one...
I smell a "rat" here...
Why would one even consider getting into something like this w/o looking first?? You have had a lesson in "thinking w/ the wrong head"!
I'd take a SERIOUS look into her background, the legal papers, etc.
The dad's family has no legal standing in the custody fight.
"Limited visitation"?? Wow! She must be a real sweetheart when in ft of the judge. Or, as someone said, her lawyer is a total waste.
There's more to this than meets the eye!!

 

[CaptainInsane-O]

I am the one with all the debt, her name is on the mortgage only. but even though she makes more and her money goes twoards my bills and hers they can't take my income nor my bills into account. Her and I bought a house may of 07 and even if we wanted to sell it and move into an apartment, with the market are house was appraised at 12000 less than what we bought it for.....sigh.

If you are up to your eyes in debt to the point where your GF is having to help pay your bills, it probably is time to sell off at least some of those cars. You really need to sit down & work out a seriously strict budget, cut luxuries to the bone and get yourself out from under that debt... it'll suck while you're going through it but in the long run it's probably the best thing you can/could do to build a stable future for yourself & this GF / kid if you really want to become a family.

 

[turbofish38]

Damn! Minimum wage jobs suck, dont they? Hey dump the chick,sell the cars, go to school,get a real job and come back here in 5 years bragging about the 15 mile GNX you bought on eBay.

 

[tom j]

Imagine if the MOTHER kept her kids how expensive it would be, you're getting of easy

 

[KILL4PEACEUSMC]

tomj is right! Kids are expensive! Getting of easy paying $400.00

 

[sixgun86gn]

I am the one with all the debt, her name is on the mortgage only. but even though she makes more and her money goes twoards my bills and hers they can't take my income nor my bills into account. Her and I bought a house may of 07 and even if we wanted to sell it and move into an apartment, with the market are house was appraised at 12000 less than what we bought it for.....sigh.[/QUOTE]

Sounds like your head is waaaaaaaaaay up your ass to me.

This chick's kid is HER problem and to be dependent on any woman in the first place is ridiculous.

Time to man up and let her lie in the bed she made and get yourself out from under the debts....and for god sake don't get involved with any including her.

You are not married and the kid is not your's. The cars (unless they have payments) are not costing you anything. You will regret selling them and you will probably never get anymore like them ever again if you stay involved with a situation like this.

So,what you need to do is figure out how to make more money if you want to help her. Don't sacrifice your belongings or happiness for "love". You will regret it.

Hopefully you don't get your feelings hurt by my honest opinion.

 

[Pablo]

Sounds like your head is waaaaaaaaaay up your ass to me.

This chick's kid is HER problem and to be dependent on any woman in the first place is ridiculous.

Time to man up and let her lie in the bed she made and get yourself out from under the debts....and for god sake don't get involved with any including her.

You are not married and the kid is not your's. The cars (unless they have payments) are not costing you anything. You will regret selling them and you will probably never get anymore like them ever again if you stay involved with a situation like this.

So,what you need to do is figure out how to make more money if you want to help her. Don't sacrifice your belongings or happiness for "love". You will regret it.

Hopefully you don't get your feelings hurt by my honest opinion.

+1

The concept of depending on a woman for financial purposes simply cannot be processed by my mind. I think if I gave it serious thought I would short circuit.

 

[1987BuickGN]

Wow, child support, how I love that subject. I paid it for 17 years. 1 child. We split up when he was a baby of course. He came to live with me 3 months before his 18th birthday. I paid the final 3 months with him living with me. Son states he always stayed, or had to stay as long as he did with his mother because she needed the money more than I did. Welp, Im done so Im getting over it.


Only you can make up your mind on what you need to do. I would sell anything I own right now for the person I am "commited" to. That would be in marriage or life long partner. I dont know you but I am "all in" when I commit. Its all or nothing for me. And I expect the same from her. First marriage set me back $125k. I lost EVERYTHING. I got over it. I lost that bet. The marriage Im in now,I took the same chance and feel great it will last as long as it can. Material things I was able to recoup.I just bought a 2nd home on the lake, have 5 pretty cool cars, (well the wifes I dont like, but she does)My point is dont feel if you have to sacrifice something today that you can never get back, or do somewhere different or better down the road. Survive, get on your feet, then make hobby decisions when you can afford them.

PS. Does the distance the 2 parents live apart keep your fiance from trying to get joint custody?