TurBording
New Member
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2002
On Friday night the weather was beautiful so I took the 87 GN to the local Friday-night car show along with an out-of-town friend. We were minding my own business when two beefy guys with shaved heads and gold framed wrap-around Mylar sunglasses showed up beside us in traffic in a bright yellow Viper.
Snake alert! Snake alert!
Hummmm....
They spend a few minutes checking out the GN at a point where we were stopped for some lights and then because my window was down and their tops were out the driver of the Viper says. "Nice car. I hear those things are pretty fast."
"Not bad I said."
"Your car looks very great. Is it original?"
"It's had some work done to it," I said.
The light turned so off we go again in traffic.....
Now the road is two lane and narrow and full of traffic so we couldn't as much play as race but the Viper did get ahead and made few snappy lane changes and some quick runs to show us what he had. We just behaved ourselves and followed along, waiting for opportunity to arrive.
About two miles up the road the road widens out, traffic thinned a bit and the gods smiled upon us as we found ourselves front and center and side by side with the Viper at a convenient red light.
The driver of the Viper looks over and says, "We're here so we have to give it a try."
"OK," I said....
Well the light turned green, I didn't bother to build anything more than a small amount of prespool and we were off! No wheel spin, no burnouts, just launch and leave.
Poor bastards, they really didn't have a chance.
From the time the light hit green we never saw even a piece of that Snake show up. At 85 I stabbed the breaks as it was a 40 mph road at which time the Viper was a good 2-3 honest car lengths in my mirror and still losing ground. If there was ever a recipe for fried snake, this was it, and man did that snake ever get the heat treatment. In addition my 3 inch single shot exhaust dumps out the drivers side which put it nicely in the face of the low-riding opened-windowed Viper. When the turbo lights the GN barks hard and a face full of bark only adds to the lesson.
At the next light we ended up beside the Viper for a quick recap and the two dudes with the cool shades had the best "What the f**k just happened to us" look I've seen in a long time. Probably not since taking out two guys in a blower car some two years ago that also thought they were cure for fast cars. I opened the conversation by saying, "Not bad for a V-6 eh?"
The passenger in the Viper started saying, "I can't believe it, like ... I can't believe it. I drive a Vette and you would totally destroy me." The expression on their faces was totally priceless. One minute they were big-balled super-cool king-of-the-road dudes in their bad-ass Viper that were going to show us how a real car performed. The next minute they are getting their pants pulled down for a public spanking by a "grandma's car" in front of a entire road full of traffic. It was awesome.
(End result for the Viper dudes; insert tail between legs, frown, scowl and look totally emasculated.)
The driver - and likely the owner of the Viper - asked what I was running. NOS? Like what just happened here? This can't be happening ....
I said, "No, I'm just running premium pump gas and only about 16 lbs of boost right now." Then the Viper driver also started saying, "I can't believe it .... I can't ....." Then the light turned green again.
Oh, and it is worth mentioning that a motorcycle somehow lined up with us at the previous light with some silly notion that he was going to lay down some smack on a Viper and a GN at the same time. Silly twerp. He got soundly spanked by the Viper as well as by us and at the very least his purpose seemed to be to let the Viper owner know that while he was being soundly fried by a GN that at least he was running strong enough to take out a bike. We put some good bus lengths on the bike though and he buggered off at the first turn rather than face off again at the next set of lights.
Back to the Viper ...
After leaving the second set of lights we both accelerated normally up to road speed (40 mph) with us slightly ahead at which time it was on again. I could hear the Snake engine pick up and I said to myself, "No you don't buddy."
I hammered on the throttle and the Viper got up as far as my rear bummer at which point the boost kicked in and the Viper made no further ground. We held him right where he was to approximately 85 mph and then backed off again to legal speed.
Serving refried Snake anyone? Take two dudes, add a Snake and turn up the heat. This was one Snake that had to have both his balls and his head handed to him as he just couldn't believe this could happen to his macho car.
Next comes traffic light number three and the Snake coasts in for one final comment. "I'd like to run you from a stop and then see how you do!"
"Wasn't that how we ran the first race I asked?"
No answer to that one ....
The light turns green and without further comment the Viper is outta there, changing lanes, closing up gaps and basically manuevering to get ahead of us as much as possible and away from us as far as possible. I guess he was scared he was going to have to face us at yet another set of lights and simply didn't have any "gear" left to put on the table yet a third time so we just let him run and settled back into our former drive.
The lesson learned; "Snake is easy to fry if you have the right cooking gear but it doesn't want to go down in the pan without a fight. Be prepared to refry snake a second time if it is still showing signs of life but be aware that the taste of re-fried snake is certainly much better than single-fried and well worth the extra "cooking fuel". Re-fried snake is far more tender than single-fried snake and much easier to manage when server piping hot - the hotter the better!
P.S. And my friend who was along for the ride and who knew only about GN's from what I had told him prior to losing his virginity with Friday night's ride was damned near as surprised as the passenger riding in the Viper. There's nothing like watching a GN newbie's body straighten out in the seat when the G forces hit and watching their lips pucker as they try to deal with their newly rediscovered fear of dying.
Snake alert! Snake alert!
Hummmm....
They spend a few minutes checking out the GN at a point where we were stopped for some lights and then because my window was down and their tops were out the driver of the Viper says. "Nice car. I hear those things are pretty fast."
"Not bad I said."
"Your car looks very great. Is it original?"
"It's had some work done to it," I said.
The light turned so off we go again in traffic.....
Now the road is two lane and narrow and full of traffic so we couldn't as much play as race but the Viper did get ahead and made few snappy lane changes and some quick runs to show us what he had. We just behaved ourselves and followed along, waiting for opportunity to arrive.
About two miles up the road the road widens out, traffic thinned a bit and the gods smiled upon us as we found ourselves front and center and side by side with the Viper at a convenient red light.
The driver of the Viper looks over and says, "We're here so we have to give it a try."
"OK," I said....
Well the light turned green, I didn't bother to build anything more than a small amount of prespool and we were off! No wheel spin, no burnouts, just launch and leave.
Poor bastards, they really didn't have a chance.
From the time the light hit green we never saw even a piece of that Snake show up. At 85 I stabbed the breaks as it was a 40 mph road at which time the Viper was a good 2-3 honest car lengths in my mirror and still losing ground. If there was ever a recipe for fried snake, this was it, and man did that snake ever get the heat treatment. In addition my 3 inch single shot exhaust dumps out the drivers side which put it nicely in the face of the low-riding opened-windowed Viper. When the turbo lights the GN barks hard and a face full of bark only adds to the lesson.
At the next light we ended up beside the Viper for a quick recap and the two dudes with the cool shades had the best "What the f**k just happened to us" look I've seen in a long time. Probably not since taking out two guys in a blower car some two years ago that also thought they were cure for fast cars. I opened the conversation by saying, "Not bad for a V-6 eh?"
The passenger in the Viper started saying, "I can't believe it, like ... I can't believe it. I drive a Vette and you would totally destroy me." The expression on their faces was totally priceless. One minute they were big-balled super-cool king-of-the-road dudes in their bad-ass Viper that were going to show us how a real car performed. The next minute they are getting their pants pulled down for a public spanking by a "grandma's car" in front of a entire road full of traffic. It was awesome.
(End result for the Viper dudes; insert tail between legs, frown, scowl and look totally emasculated.)
The driver - and likely the owner of the Viper - asked what I was running. NOS? Like what just happened here? This can't be happening ....
I said, "No, I'm just running premium pump gas and only about 16 lbs of boost right now." Then the Viper driver also started saying, "I can't believe it .... I can't ....." Then the light turned green again.
Oh, and it is worth mentioning that a motorcycle somehow lined up with us at the previous light with some silly notion that he was going to lay down some smack on a Viper and a GN at the same time. Silly twerp. He got soundly spanked by the Viper as well as by us and at the very least his purpose seemed to be to let the Viper owner know that while he was being soundly fried by a GN that at least he was running strong enough to take out a bike. We put some good bus lengths on the bike though and he buggered off at the first turn rather than face off again at the next set of lights.
Back to the Viper ...
After leaving the second set of lights we both accelerated normally up to road speed (40 mph) with us slightly ahead at which time it was on again. I could hear the Snake engine pick up and I said to myself, "No you don't buddy."
I hammered on the throttle and the Viper got up as far as my rear bummer at which point the boost kicked in and the Viper made no further ground. We held him right where he was to approximately 85 mph and then backed off again to legal speed.
Serving refried Snake anyone?
Take two dudes, add a Snake and turn up the heat. This was one Snake that had to have both his balls and his head handed to him as he just couldn't believe this could happen to his macho car. Next comes traffic light number three and the Snake coasts in for one final comment. "I'd like to run you from a stop and then see how you do!"
"Wasn't that how we ran the first race I asked?"
No answer to that one ....
The light turns green and without further comment the Viper is outta there, changing lanes, closing up gaps and basically manuevering to get ahead of us as much as possible and away from us as far as possible. I guess he was scared he was going to have to face us at yet another set of lights and simply didn't have any "gear" left to put on the table yet a third time so we just let him run and settled back into our former drive.
The lesson learned; "Snake is easy to fry if you have the right cooking gear but it doesn't want to go down in the pan without a fight. Be prepared to refry snake a second time if it is still showing signs of life but be aware that the taste of re-fried snake is certainly much better than single-fried and well worth the extra "cooking fuel". Re-fried snake is far more tender than single-fried snake and much easier to manage when server piping hot - the hotter the better!
P.S. And my friend who was along for the ride and who knew only about GN's from what I had told him prior to losing his virginity with Friday night's ride was damned near as surprised as the passenger riding in the Viper. There's nothing like watching a GN newbie's body straighten out in the seat when the G forces hit and watching their lips pucker as they try to deal with their newly rediscovered fear of dying.
