OK married guys, show hands

[Bruce Urie]

Jeeze!!! You guys have me laughing so hard I can't even type,let alone think!!!!!! My stomach is killing me from laughing!!!

Bruce '87 Grand National

 

[notacarlo]

LOL Oh this is gonna be a long weekend :biggrin:

Why are you avoiding my question? I got 15 minutes then I'm headed to the petting zoo. You could save me some time and a possible severe groin injury.

 

[JOHNDEEREGN]

Why are you avoiding my question? I got 15 minutes then I'm headed to the petting zoo. You could save me some time and a possible severe groin injury.

Grab and Growl baby

 

[notacarlo]

Grab and Growl baby

I'm 6'3" so maybe a llama would be a better option.


does it fool the sheep if you use lamb skin condoms? Just asking. I don't need it looking back at me and suddenly realizing I ain't one of the flock. We've all been in that awkward situation.

 

[JOHNDEEREGN]

I'm 6'3" so maybe a llama would be a better option.


does it fool the sheep if you use lamb skin condoms? Just asking. I don't need it looking back at me and suddenly realizing I ain't one of the flock. We've all been in that awkward situation.

Well to be honest its kind of like a cop eating a pulled pork sandwich:biggrin: (Sorry Bret and Billy)

 

[notacarlo]

bazinga!

 

[usetaboost]

Explain this "sex" thing you speak of.

If I see the word sheep or small horse in your or Ty's response I will stop reading there.

Been with mine for 14 years. She still likes me, so there's a plus.

"sex" is what happens when she's gonna pass out and says get it over with but don't wake me up.

a 27 seek professional help You can only deal with this but for so long. Before you start to wonder off This is Where my cousin was at a few years ago and today he is divorced and living with his sister. Don't ignore it.

i am one lucky guy, i am the one that has the "headaches" and is "not feeling well tonight"

I hear ya. Anymore I'm checkin out girls left and right. Hard not to. Don't act upon it though. If some girl talks to me I'll talk back but I don't make an effort, been rejected at home too many times to even think about it

It's funny, I used to have to tell her no quite a bit, just so I could sleep. I pretended I was sleeping and she would still go for it anyway. Hell, there was a time I was so tired between working 10hr days and getting it on 3 times a day all the time I actually fell asleep and started snoring when we were bumpin uglies:biggrin: I still think she's just as hot as when we started going out. She says she's fat. I told her she's got a fat ass. She said I know. THat's the kind of relationship we have. Messed up huh? It works though. Although if she did drop 20 lbs or so I'd probably have to just hold her down and take it

Well so far I'm the only one that has to deal with this. Sad:frown:

 

[Madcat455]

you're not the only one... married 12yrs here, 3 kids.

Nothing changed it more than having kids... When the kids are young, they take a lot of time, effort, and energy.. plus she's remembering how it felt having them... so that turns her off.

When they get to the "teen" years... you won't want to touch her for fear of getting another:biggrin::biggrin:

You said she "got pregnant" 7yrs ago.... so you have a 7yr old, or did something happen??

My wife and I have been on an "off/on" cycle... from July 09 to July 10, I could count the number of times on one hand (probably have a finger or 2 left). We had a lot of stress with all the crap happening with jobs, school, house, etc.

Now that that's clearing up, we've been at it more.. and have doubled the last 12 months in 2. I never take it for granted, cause I know the bottom could fall out any minute.. LOL.

Point being.. stick it through, talk to her to see if anything's bothering her, if she won't say.. you'll have to figure it out.

I lived the last 6yrs with a wife who liked it, but didn't "want" it. So I can see where you're coming from.

good luck

 

[jdpolzin]

I dont even want to enter this conversation!!!


Man, kids changed EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN!!!!!!!

 

[notacarlo]

Update....

I gave the sheep my cell number, but I don't hink she'll call. One because it seemed more interested in the kids throwing food pelets, and two because it has boost mobile and apparently they don't have a "call any one" plan.


Kids have made it so we have to be a little more stealthy about the beast with two backs. I put a candle on top of the SVO in the garage....she didn't buy it.

 

[JOHNDEEREGN]

Update....

I gave the sheep my cell number, but I don't hink she'll call. One because it seemed more interested in the kids throwing food pelets, and two because it has boost mobile and apparently they don't have a "call any one" plan.


Kids have made it so we have to be a little more stealthy about the beast with two backs. I put a candle on top of the SVO in the garage....she didn't buy it.

What did that sheep look like You better not be humping my wool or were gonna have fista cuffs

 

[notacarlo]

What did that sheep look like You better not be humping my wool or were gonna have fista cuffs

Never saw it from the front.:biggrin:


on an unrelated note, lamb for dinner tonight.

 

[JOHNDEEREGN]

Never saw it from the front.:biggrin:


on an unrelated note, lamb for dinner tonight.

I caught on tape beotch

 

[notacarlo]

That's clearly a pig (part number 0003241Z) and that's ghey.


I think the highjacking is going well.

 

[usetaboost]

you're not the only one... married 12yrs here, 3 kids.

Nothing changed it more than having kids... When the kids are young, they take a lot of time, effort, and energy.. plus she's remembering how it felt having them... so that turns her off.

When they get to the "teen" years... you won't want to touch her for fear of getting another:biggrin::biggrin:

You said she "got pregnant" 7yrs ago.... so you have a 7yr old, or did something happen??

My wife and I have been on an "off/on" cycle... from July 09 to July 10, I could count the number of times on one hand (probably have a finger or 2 left). We had a lot of stress with all the crap happening with jobs, school, house, etc.

Now that that's clearing up, we've been at it more.. and have doubled the last 12 months in 2. I never take it for granted, cause I know the bottom could fall out any minute.. LOL.

Point being.. stick it through, talk to her to see if anything's bothering her, if she won't say.. you'll have to figure it out.

I lived the last 6yrs with a wife who liked it, but didn't "want" it. So I can see where you're coming from.

good luck

Yeah, I feel stupid for passing it up so many times. Once a year though I might get it twice a month. A couple weeks ago we did it twice in one day. I asked her if one of us was dying She gets her little spurts now and then. About twice a year she gets all wound up and let's me do whatever I want. Then right when I think the good ole days are back that piece of ass gets put back on the pedastal

I dont even want to enter this conversation!!!


Man, kids changed EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN!!!!!!!

Too late b!tch, you finally admitted. Welcome to the meeting. I got a feeling this isn't your first one:biggrin:

That's clearly a pig (part number 0003241Z) and that's ghey.


I think the highjacking is going well.

Yes it is. Ridiculously hilarious perverted jokes is what helps me cope.

 

[aminga]

That's clearly a pig (part number 0003241Z) and that's ghey.


I think the highjacking is going well.

I'll help

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCRE9qOgbug[/YOUTUBE]

 

[notacarlo]

I have a poster of that sheep in my garage. Her name is Edna, she enjoys long walks on the beach, fresh trimmed bermuda grass, and ocassionally has a del monte corn can (not the corn...just the can) with a glass of vino.


As you can tell....she is horny.






I gotta stop this before my wife reads it. Then I'll have to start a thread of my own.

 

[JOHNDEEREGN]

I have a poster of that sheep in my garage. Her name is Edna, she enjoys long walks on the beach, fresh trimmed bermuda grass, and ocassionally has a del monte corn can (not the corn...just the can) with a glass of vino.


As you can tell....she is horny.






I gotta stop this before my wife reads it. Then I'll have to start a thread of my own.

Old McDan had a sheep he kept in his back yard,
When she pulled her.................

Oh nevermind.... Dont need any Dice Clay on a Sunday

 

[Gary Wells]

OK married guys, show hands:
Why, are you looking for warts?

 

[Madcat455]

OK married guys, show hands:
Why, are you looking for warts?

More like calluses... :tongue::tongue: