Texas is ready to secede from the union

[DCEPTCN]

Originally posted by Captain Mark
Yep, that happened to me last time I went to Taos!

Now what in the world did you go to Taos for? Did you want to try painting in the nude? Heard they had really good heroin? Decided to give the whole 'gay' thing a whack? Didn't feel like you were paying enough for bad jewelry at home?

I shouldn't admit this publicly, but when I first moved to NM I went to a bar near 'the plaza' in Santa Fe and I couldn't believe how friendly people were in that town. Everybody up at the bar was buying me drinks and asking me all about where I had moved from etc., etc. Then, after a little bit, it occured to me.....everybody who had bought me a beer was a guy! I didn't even finish my drink, I just left. God, Santa Fe is crawlin' with man-love...........and Taos makes Santa Fe look like the Bronx!

 

[Captain Mark]

Actually we were skiing in Angel Fire and decided to do some site seeing. We went to Taos to check things out. Ate some mexican food at some hole in the wall place. It was pretty bad. Looked like a place the locals would eat....you know...if the locals eat here, it must be a great place to eat. Forget about it, it was bad.

I had my wife and kids with me, so I never dabbled in man-love there.

 

[DCEPTCN]

Originally posted by Captain Mark
Actually we were skiing in Angel Fire and decided to do some site seeing. We went to Taos to check things out. Ate some mexican food at some hole in the wall place. It was pretty bad. Looked like a place the locals would eat....you know...if the locals eat here, it must be a great place to eat. Forget about it, it was bad.

I had my wife and kids with me, so I never dabbled in man-love there.

When in NM, stick to McDonalds! Heck, even they've got a green chile cheeseburger. Reminds me of when I used to live in Maine......to this day, nobody believes me that some McDonalds' out there serve lobster.

 

[Captain Mark]

Originally posted by DCEPTCN
When in NM, stick to McDonalds! Heck, even they've got a green chile cheeseburger. Reminds me of when I used to live in Maine......to this day, nobody believes me that some McDonalds' out there serve lobster.

Lobster? you're kidding.

Like......Lobster Mcnuggets.......McLobster with cheese....what?
Never heard that.

 

[DCEPTCN]

Originally posted by Captain Mark
Lobster? you're kidding.

Like......Lobster Mcnuggets.......McLobster with cheese....what?
Never heard that.

I spent most of my time in ME living in a town on the coast called Rockland. Self proclaimed 'Lobster Capital'. It was great, I lived 20 yards from the harbor with lighthouses and stone beaches, etc., and payed $350/ month for rent. ANYWAY, McDonalds around there serves lobster rolls, which are very popular up that way. It's lobster on a roll with mayo.

But back to Texas......



How do you castrate a Texan?






Kick his sister in the jaw.

 

[Captain Mark]

Originally posted by DCEPTCN
I
But back to Texas......



How do you castrate a Texan?






Kick his sister in the jaw.

Sounds like you've spent time here too!

 

[DCEPTCN]

Originally posted by Captain Mark
Sounds like you've spent time here too!

I've got family in Coppell. (D/FW area) The funniest thing about that area was, last I visited it snowed MAYBE 1/4 inch. Those dummies around there were stuck in ditches all over the place. Do most Texans not know how to drive in the snow?

 

[Captain Mark]

Snow is not the problem. We normally have rain first.....followed by a badass cold front.......then ice...then snow. So we will have a small amount of snow on a sheet of ice.

But to answer your question.....NO, we don't know how to drive on that stuff. It's like bumper cars at the State Fair when it snows here.

 

[DCEPTCN]

Well, one thing is for sure......Texas needn't apologize to anyone.
Thanks so much for SRV and Pantera!

 

[We4ster]

There was this Texas cowboy and he had been riding his horse across the great plains on his way to California nonstop. Both him and his horse had gone days without sleep. As he rode in to one of the few towns on his trip he decided to stop in at the saloon and get a shot of wiskey to satisfy his thirst. As he got off his horse he realized that since his horse had not slept in a few days it might fall asleep now that they had finally stoped and it might take a few hours to wake his horse up.

He grabed this young indian who just happened to be walking by and told him of his predicament, he then asked the indian if he could run back and forth in front of his horse to keep it awake while he was tending his thirst in the bar. The indian agreed.

After a few drinks the cowboy forgot about the trip as he made friends and drank down round after round in the bar. As the hours past a cowboy entered the front door of the sallon and asked who owned the brown and white horse out front.

The cowboy who owned the horse said "I do so what about it?"

Well replied the cowboy you left your INGIN' RUNNIN'.....

 

[Captain Mark]

Originally posted by DCEPTCN
Well, one thing is for sure......Texas needn't apologize to anyone.
Thanks so much for SRV and Pantera!

Yeah, we do have a great music scene. lots of good stuff going on now. Some good up and coming bands. I'm going to the Dallas Guitar Show this weekend. There will be LOTS of guitarists coming in to play at the show. Youshould come down for the show sometimes. It is the largest guitar show in the world. Acres and acres of guitars and players. Very cool deal.

Check it out:
http://www.guitarshow.com/sponsors.htm

 

[DCEPTCN]

Originally posted by Captain Mark
Yeah, we do have a great music scene. lots of good stuff going on now. Some good up and coming bands. I'm going to the Dallas Guitar Show this weekend. There will be LOTS of guitarists coming in to play at the show. Youshould come down for the show sometimes. It is the largest guitar show in the world. Acres and acres of guitars and players. Very cool deal.

Check it out:
http://www.guitarshow.com/sponsors.htm

Dude, that sounds awesome! I just might load up the Jackson and check it out one of these days.

 

[DCEPTCN]

Originally posted by We4ster
There was this Texas cowboy and he had been riding his horse across the great plains on his way to California nonstop. Both him and his horse had gone days without sleep. As he rode in to one of the few towns on his trip he decided to stop in at the saloon and get a shot of wiskey to satisfy his thirst. As he got off his horse he realized that since his horse had not slept in a few days it might fall asleep now that they had finally stoped and it might take a few hours to wake his horse up.

He grabed this young indian who just happened to be walking by and told him of his predicament, he then asked the indian if he could run back and forth in front of his horse to keep it awake while he was tending his thirst in the bar. The indian agreed.

After a few drinks the cowboy forgot about the trip as he made friends and drank down round after round in the bar. As the hours past a cowboy entered the front door of the sallon and asked who owned the brown and white horse out front.

The cowboy who owned the horse said "I do so what about it?"

Well replied the cowboy you left your INGIN' RUNNIN'.....

A Texan cowboy and a Californian cowboy were out for a walk admiring the Texans' massive ranch outside Lubbock. They happen upon a sheep that is stuck in the fence and cannot squirm it's way free. Without even thinking about it, the Texan cowboy runs up to the sheep and begins to have his way with it. After a moment, he realizes how rude he is being and stands up, asking the Californian cowboy, 'Sorry, you want some a' this?' To which the Californian cowboy says, 'Yes!' and proceeds to climb into the fence.

 

[turbofish38]

Originally posted by UNGN
The list forgot to mention we make Yukons, Tahoes and Suburbans here so we don't even have to import any cars (just Pickups)

I wouldn't be to proud of that fact.
Let me tell about two cars that I own that were manufactured in Arlington,Republic of Texas. Car number 1, 1985 Monte Carlo SS. I got the first black one to hit Nebraska in August of 84. Assembly line workers to retarded to put the correct black trim moldings on, installed chrome ones instead( kind of like if your GN had chrome bumpers on it). It didn't matter because the paint was crappy and had to be repainted 3 months later when it spiderwebbed. Car number 2, 1995 Buick Roadmaster wagon. Even though I was the third owner on this NOW fine car it mysteriously devolped a massive water leak 1 day after buying it. The original owner never drove it in the rain and #2 pawned it off on me knowing of the problem. Turns out the same retarded assembly line workers burned through the spotwelds on the firewall and whenever it rained water would drain off the windshield and through the holes in the firewall causing water to puddle inside. I work for a Chevy dealer and you can see the difference in Tahoes made in Texas and those made in Mexico,Fort Wayne and Canada.You people my be the leaders in SUV sales but you dont know a thing about building them. BTW the new Toyota Tundras are going to made in Texas too so I guess you natives will be able to tell who is a real Texican and who isn't by the trucks you drive.

 

[kh440]

The thing I admire most about Texas-it may not be the capital of this country-but it is the capital punishment capital!

 

[UNGN]

That's why they spent $500 Million on a Robotic Paint Shop. It's a 50 Year old UAW plant. Some of the people there opened the place.

Which ones are made in Canada? They don't make Tahoes in Janesville, WI anymore?

 

[Captain Mark]

Originally posted by Maltman
Good......I wish Texas the best....NOW YOU CAN STOP TAKING OUR WATER!!!!!!!!!

explain please

 

[UNGN]

Originally posted by Captain Mark
explain please

Yeah, I though we got everyone's downstream dregs

 

[WFO]

Originally posted by DCEPTCN
When in NM, stick to McDonalds! Heck, even they've got a green chile cheeseburger. Reminds me of when I used to live in Maine......to this day, nobody believes me that some McDonalds' out there serve lobster.

They had beer on tap at mcdonalds in hong kong.

 

[WFO]

oh yeah...

What does a Texan girl say after sex?

















"Git off me paw,yer crushin' my smokes!"